Tags:
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Facebook,
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Identity,
Kenyon,
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noticed her profile picture changed from what it was, her in the back of a limo with her “besties” in Hilton Head, to the most horrifying thing I never wanted to see. An ultrasound picture.
“Holy shit!” I said and grabbed my phone as the blood drained from my face.
“Stephanie! Allysin...Alley Cat...the whore! Go to her page now!”
“I thought you weren’t going to stalk her?” Stephanie said and yawned.
“Please!” I said and cried. “I need you to tell me what I’m looking at. I am losing my fucking mind. Just tell me!”
I clicked on her profile picture and was in a full-on, super-soaking sweat as I looked at the little speck of grey dust in the middle of a black background.
“Maybe it’s a star?” I said as I pushed my face against the monitor.
“Oh, wow,” Stephanie said. “Um...”
“Maybe it’s not hers, you know, a sister’s or something? Maybe she’s gonna be an aunt?”
“Look at it, Beth. It’s got her name at the top. And that is so not how she spells her real name! It’s Allison like every other Allison on the face of the earth spells fucking Allison!”
I brought my face away from the monitor and focused on her name.
“Allison Watson,” I said and sighed. “She’s eight weeks.”
“Which would mean, what, Beth?” Stephanie said and cleared her throat.
“Oh! Maybe it’s not his. I mean, maybe they met after we broke up and she’s already pregnant, you know?”
“And when would that have happened? Yesterday? You think he broke up with you, happened to bump into Alley Cat over here and decide they want to go public on Facebook before they have their first date? On top of all of that, Billy Rider, who can’t even take care of a fucking library card, is so in love after one day, he tells her he’d be happy to raise another man’s child?”
“It’s just that I don’t have proof that--”
“Beth, wake the fuck up! Goddamn, he was cheating on you and he knocked some other chick up while he was doing it!”
I stared at the ultrasound picture and shook my head.
“This is just not...Stephanie, oh my God.”
“You didn’t know, Beth. You didn’t want to see and you wanted to believe him because you love him. It happens to all of us.”
“No, why doesn’t he want me? How can this boy who told me he’d never get married or have kids, rug rats, he called them, the boy who couldn’t even say that he loved me, dump me and now declares his relationship status on the Internet and has a baby with another chick?”
“Beth, I’m coming down there. You’re hysterical.”
“Shouldn’t I be? Wouldn’t it be a little fucking weird if I looked at this picture as I smiled and wondered where she’s gonna register for the shitty baby shower? I have to go. I’m going to be sick.”
I dropped my phone on the counter and tripped over some beer cans that I missed as I flew into the bathroom and threw up. I rinsed my mouth out and went out to the break room. Someone left an Entenmann’s Pumpkin loaf cake in the refrigerator and I shoved my hand into the box, pulled out a fistful of cake and shoved it into my mouth as I sat down at the table. I thought of Billy and babies and chicks with double names and double lives. As I cried, I huffed out a plume of powdered sugar that drifted down across my boobs like dandruff.
The doorbell to the front door rang and I held my breath as I waited for whoever walked through the door to leave. When the bell sounded again after a while, I sat back in my chair and took a breath as I wiped my face with a napkin. I stood up and the doorbell rang again.
“Fuck me,” I whispered and shook my head.
“Beth!” Stephanie called from the front of the store. “Beth!”
I walked out from the back room and she threw her arms around me.
“I’m fine,” I said as she hugged me.
“Oh my God, I was so nervous driving over here. I nearly called Rebel Love to come.”
I spotted the package on the counter and looked at her and shook