Pretender to the Throne Read Online Free PDF

me back with my favorite food,” he said, his tone dry. “Or at the very least they won’t let me starve.”
    “I don’t suppose the heir is of much use to anyone if he’s starved to death. I also don’t suppose he’s much use to anyone if he’s absent and drunk.”
    “No, it doesn’t seem that I’ve done any good during my time away,” he said, his voice tight. “But I’m not sure what I could have done here, either. I was not the king then. I am not now. I’m simply in line.”
    “But you left us,” she said, a note in her voice, so sad, so fierce, he felt it in his bones.
    “I left you,” he said.
    “Yes.”
    “Did I break your heart, Layna?”
    She shook her head slowly. “Not in the way you mean. I didn’t love you, Xander. I was infatuated, surely, but we didn’t truly know each other. You were very handsome, and I can’t deny being drawn to you. I’m a bit of a magpie for shiny things, you know.”
    “I was shiny?”
    “Yes. The shiniest prize out there.”
    “Not sure how I feel about that.”
    “You’ll live.” She looked down. “I loved the idea of being queen. I was raised for it, after all.”
    “Yes, you were.” He didn’t have to say that he hadn’t been in love with her. That much had been obvious by his actions. When he’d left Kyonos he’d hardly spared a thought for what it would mean to Layna. He hadn’t been able to spare a thought for anything but his own pain.
    “But I thought I would find someone else. Maybe Stavros.”
    “You wanted to marry Stavros?”
    She shrugged. “I would have. But then... Then the attack happened and I didn’t especially want to see anyone much less marry anyone.”
    “So you joined a convent? Seems extreme.”
    “No. I spent years struggling with depression, actually, but thank you for your rather blithe commentary on my pain.”
    That shocked him into silence, which was a rare and difficult thing. He didn’t shock easily. Or, as a rule, at all.
    “When did you join?”
    “Ten years ago. I was tired of muddling through. And I saw a chance to make myself useful. I couldn’t fit back into the life I had been in, so it was time to make a new one.”
    “And you’ve been happy?”
    “Content.”
    “Not happy?”
    “Happiness is a temporary thing, Xander. Fleeting. An emotion like any other. I would rather exist in contentment.”
    He laughed. “Funny. I don’t think I’ve been happy. Not content, either. I like to chase intense bursts of euphoria.”
    “And have you managed to catch them?” she asked, her voice tight.
    “Yeah,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the doorjamb, “I have. But let me tell you, the highs might be high...the comedowns are a bitch.”
    “I wouldn’t know. I strive for a more simple and useful existence.”
    “Do you want to dress for dinner?”
    She looked down at the simple, shapeless dress she was wearing. It was blue and flowered, the sweater she had over it navy and button-down, hanging open and concealing her curves entirely, whatever those curves might look like. “What’s wrong with this?”
    “Really?”
    “I’m not exactly given to materialism these days, and unless you were dead set on looking at my figure,” she said dryly, as though it were the most ridiculous thing on the planet, “I fail to see why you should be disappointed. I’m clean, my clothing is serviceable. I don’t know what more you could possibly need from me. If I am to be an accessory in your attempt at being seen by your people as palatable, then I’m sure my more conservative style could be to your advantage.”
    “I don’t think that was what people liked about you.”
    “Perhaps not, but it can’t be helped,” she said, her voice tart.
    She bowed her head, brown hair falling forward. “You used to sparkle,” he said, not sure where the words came from, or why he’d voiced them.
    She looked up at him, fire burning in her golden eyes. “And I used to be beautiful.