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fucking furious.
    She opened the door and I followed her into a dark hallway. It was musty and cruddy. It looked like a tenement. I was not amused. The thought of her living here made me sick.
    She led me into a windowless kitchen. I looked around. This room was clean at least.
    Then I saw it.
    In the corner of the room was a twin bed. More of a cot really. A faded floral blanket lay on top.
    I turned to look at her.
    “Is that your bed?”
    She nodded, refusing to meet my eyes.
    “What the fuck?”

Nadine

    “Jesus Deanie. You live here?”
    I knew how it must look to someone who wasn’t in my situation. I knew it looked like a hovel. But the room was spotless. Well, except for a few dishes in the sink. And empty beer bottles.
    Great.
    My fucking roommates were class acts.
    I shrugged, afraid to look at him. He waited for me to look up. When I did, I wished I hadn’t.
    James looked horrified.
    Shame pooled in my stomach. The old feeling was back. The feeling of not being good enough.
    Not deserving.
    “What? All I need is a bed really.”
    He looked at me, his gorgeous blue eyes wide.
    “This is…”
    “A lot better than the places I’ve slept since I left South Side.”
    He frowned, looking at me as if I was something strange and dirty.
    “Don’t look at me like that. I’m fine.”
    “No. You’re not.”
    He shook his head slowly.
    “But you’re gonna be.”
    He walked over to the kitchen cabinets and started riffling through them.
    “What are you doing.”
    He turned around and threw me a garbage bag.
    “Pack your shit.”
    “What? Why?”
    He strode across the room, grasping my face in his hands. He wasn’t gentle. But it didn’t exactly hurt either.
    “Because. You. Are. Coming. With. Me.”
    Then he kissed me. It was hard. And fast.
    And it sent a spiral of desire straight to my center. He lifted his head, his eyes boring into mine.
    “Say yes Deanie.”
    I didn’t think. I just obeyed.
    “Yes.”
    He smiled then.
    “Good girl.”
    I was numb as I did as he asked, shoving all my clothes and my few personal items into the bag. James watched me impassively, his arms crossed over his broad chest. In minutes I held up the bag. It was only half full.
    “That’s it?”
    I nodded.
    “I got used to… traveling light.”
    He frowned and jerked his head.
    “Let’s go.”
    He drove me back to campus. I didn’t ask him where we were going. I was numb and exhausted. I almost didn’t care where we went.
    As long as I was with him.
    It was crazy, but I felt safe. Even though I knew, deep down, he just wanted to sleep with me.
    So help me God, I wanted that too.  
    It scared me to death though.
    We parked past the athletic complex and walked to a row of townhouses. He opened the door to one and flipped on the light. I stared around me in awe.
    His apartment was gorgeous. It looked like something out of a magazine, not college housing. Marble tile floors, sectional couch, glass coffee table and open kitchen. The kitchen was big too, with a dining table on the other side of a bar with stools.
    It was so… clean.
    He shut the door and flipped the lock behind us. Then he carried my bag up the stairs.
    “Wait.”
    He turned to look at me.
    “What’s wrong? You thirsty?”
    I shook my head. I wasn’t thirsty. I was just confused.
    “Is all this yours?”
    He looked a bit sheepish as he nodded.  
    “It’s safe. Nobody comes in here except a maid once a week.”
    “You don’t have to share it?”
    “Nah, it’s just me. Come on.”
    I followed him up the stairs in a daze.
    There were two bedrooms and a bath at the end of the hall. When he led me into the master bedroom I froze, suddenly apprehensive.
    But he just smiled and dropped my bag by the door to the en suit bathroom. Then he pulled back the covers.
    “Come on, baby girl.”
    I swallowed nervously and walked over to him. He bent down and lifted my shirt over my head. Then he knelt and undid my jeans, tugging them over my hips.
    I stared