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like she was about to bolt. “I’m not ready for that. You know how hard it was for me when Pete left. And Chris…” she swallowed hard, her eyes closed. “He can’t go through another man leaving us. I won’t do that to him.”
    “I wouldn’t leave you like he did. Or Chris.” He rubbed his eyes. “There’s really only one question at play here. Do you think you would want to try for something more than a night? Two nights? Three nights? A year?”
    She paled. “I can’t. Not after Pete. And what would Chris say? I can’t put him through this again.”
    “There are so many reasons we shouldn’t. Chris. Pete. Mike.” He threw his hands up. “Hell, I’m Chris’s coach and teacher. That’s a huge issue in and of itself. But if you want this,” he motioned between them with his hands, “then we can overcome it all.”
    “I’m sorry.” She licked her lips, and her eyes begged him to understand. “But I can’t.”
    “All right, then.” He nodded and grabbed his shirt. He tried to look as if his heart hadn’t just been stomped on. It had taken a lot to put himself on the line like that and it hadn’t paid off. But he wouldn’t show her how hard it had hit him. “Make sure no one ever finds out about this, then. I can’t afford to lose my star player because we spent one meaningless night together.”
    She shook her head slightly. “No one will know. It’ll be like it never happened. We can go back to being—”
    He gave a harsh laugh. He couldn’t help it. “You underestimate your talents. I won’t forget this night until I’m dead and buried six feet under. Maybe not even then.”
    “You know what I meant.” She flushed. “Can we just go back to the way things were?”
    “Honestly? I don’t think I can.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I’ve been lying to myself for a long time about what I want from you and I’m not doing it anymore. And after what happened tonight… I can’t just turn it off. I’ve been trying for too long. Why did you do this tonight? Why me?”
    She looked like she didn’t want to answer. “Because I…I thought…you used to like me…and Pete hated you.”
    His heart wrenched. He’d been a revenge screw. It hadn’t even been because she wanted him, for fuck’s sakes. It had been about getting revenge on the man she had loved once. He’d never felt so used. “Wow. I’m going to leave now.”
    “I can’t lose you.”
    Those words ripped through his chest and tore his heart out. She couldn’t do this to him. Couldn’t make it seem like he mattered to her as more than just reliable Garrett, when he so clearly didn’t. And he couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt when it did. “I just need some space. We’ll be fine.”
    But he doubted that. They wouldn’t be fine ever again. He tugged his shirt over his head.
    She wrung the blanket in her hands, looking as if she were fighting to find the right words. It made him feel like an ass for wanting her. Like he’d done something wrong or heinous. She stumbled to her feet, gloriously naked. “Don’t go. I’m sorry, but please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone. It’s a rough day for me. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m still not.”
    His anger at himself softened and he sat beside her and lifted her chin up with his thumb. She looked up at him with hope in her eyes. He knew what she wanted him to say. Knew she hoped he would say it was a mistake. That he didn’t think he could ever love her. But he wouldn’t lie. Not even to save her from guilt.
    “I’m not leaving you, Kiersten.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “But I can’t be a revenge fuck. Not with you.”
    She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
    He shook his head, but didn’t take his eyes off of her. “Stop saying that. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
    “I do.”
    “You don’t .” His grip tightened on her.
    “Can you stay the night? Give me more time to think?”
    “You can have all the