Pink Snowbunnies in Hell: A Flash Fiction Anthology Read Online Free PDF Page B

which are then spelled out on a Ouija board. There are other ways of communicating, but the living are mostly unaware of them. Ouija boards you can get at Wal-Mart, though.
    Once, Madge and I got a random call from a high school student hoping to speak to President Lincoln. I don’t know why it got routed to Hell. We have Nixon here, but no Lincoln. Madge got a bit devilish and replied with Lincoln’s Gettysburg address. Backward. In Latin. We heard a priest came to exorcise the kid’s house the next day. We still laugh about that.
    “So how are you girls? Where are you? You have horns or halos?” Lola said, her voice a bit scratchy as it came across the Great Divide.
    By now, Tina had taken off her headphones. “Is it really Lola?”
    “It sure is,” Madge said.
    I typed out an answer. It’s Hell, so we have to use all caps. Just another rule from Up Above. They’re so petty, those archangels.
    WE ARE GOOD. WE’RE IN HELL, BUT IT’S NICE. I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT WITH A HOT DEVIL. SIX-TWO, BROAD SHOULDERS, AND A SMILE THAT JUST ABOUT MELTS THE CLOTHES OFF ME. HE’S ALSO A GOOD LISTENER. YUM.
    It took her a couple of minutes to receive my message, one letter at a time.
    “Oh, that sounds great! I’m jealous. The male bunnies up here, you know how they are. Hop on, hop off, and then gone before you can even turn around. I better start being naughtier so I can join you girls when my time comes,” Lola said.
    START? YOU WERE ALWAYS THE NAUGHTIEST!
    After another minute went by, we heard Lola laugh when she saw my reply. “I guess you’re right. I remember when we were teens, I was the one who got the rest of you to sneak into Farmer Brown’s secret garden where he grew that ‘wacky tobacky.’ We giggled for days after eating that stuff!
    “But I have a question. I’m skiing today down that same mountain you two had your accident on. Tell me where to make the turn so I don’t ski off the cliff.”
    I started to reply and then stopped. I had a flash of inspiration.
    GO LEFT AFTER THE SECOND SLOPE, NOT RIGHT.
    I hit Send. Madge looked at me, shocked. “We went left! What are you doing? She’ll ski off the cliff, too.”
    “She misses us, girls,” I said. “She’ll love it here. I know a handsome devil I can set her up with. Besides, didn’t you hear the infernal weather report? Some tinhorn dictator in Africa has said there will be skiing in Hell before he steps down. The Rebels have his palace surrounded. The forecast is for snow, lots of it, this weekend.
    “So that means…” Tina said.
    “That we’ll all be together again…” Madge added.
    “And with the snow coming…” I said.
    In unison all three of us finished together:
    “The pink snowbunnies will ski in hell this weekend!”
    Asher MacDonald writes erotica. This story was an exception, but if you enjoy erotica look for his books Fiona in Chains and Four Stories, among others. Thanks so much for reading.

Marissa’s Tattoo
    By Steve Silkin
    So I turned to my son, you saw him, he’s outside now … Yes, thank you, he’s a very nice boy … He’s twelve. And I said, “I think I’ll throw some money in the well.” And the young woman, we know her name now, Marissa, she was facing me, a few feet away, and when I said, “I think I’ll throw some money in the well, ” she heard, “ Pink Snowbunny in Hell. ” No, Officer Melendez, I didn’t know at the time, of course. She screamed with delight, her jaw dropped, her eyes lit up and she walked up to me and took off her shirt. … No, she was wearing a bra, but it was a very revealing bra.
    She said “How did you know about my tattoo?” and showed it to me, right above her hip. It was a tattoo of a pink bunny, skiing, with a background of flames. … No, I didn’t understand, at the time, but now, yes, I realize that because she had taken LSD, when I talked about throwing money in the wishing well, she thought I said, “Pink Snowbunny in Hell,” and that we had made some kind of