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hoped, I had never expected tonight to be the actual night. It had been nothing but wishful thinking to believe that Malik could just walk out of his celebration and come with me, although I was absolutely sure that’s what he wanted to do. But good things came to those who waited. Malik and I would have our night. Very soon. With the way he had looked at me, I knew that.
    Nothing and no one could now stop the inevitab le.
    It was going to happen.
     
     

Chapter 4
     
     
     
     
     
    Men were so predictable.
    Xavier was right in the lobby of the church waiting for me, just the way I knew he would be. Just like I knew that not ten minutes after I got into my car last night, my phone would star t blowing up.
    And it did. My phone rang and rang. It rang as I pulled up in front of the Four Seasons hotel in Georgetown. It rang while I checked in and even as I followed the bellman who led me to my room. It rang when I settled onto the soft duvet, and it rang when I picked up the remote and clicked on the television. My cell didn’t stop ringing until I powered it off. I had never even looked down to check out who was calling me because I knew. Xavier would have called until I answered. And since I had no plans on answering, I had no doubt that he would’ve just rolled up to my condo, which was exactly why I had checked into a hotel.
    Xavier would want to confront me, but I wasn ’t about to give him a chance, at least not last night. We would have our confrontation, but it was going to be when and where I wanted it.
    Part of not wanting to do it last night was because I didn ’t want to see the immediacy of Xavier’s heartbreak. I knew I’d be able to not only see his hurt, but feel it, too. But on the other side, there was a part of me that wanted him to be hurt. I needed him to be hurt. I needed him to think about what had happened all night. I needed him to feel used and cheated. And then, he would be furious, filled with rage, and waiting for me in the lobby of the church—which is exactly where he was. 
    As I eased my car down the lane that passed right in front of Grace Tabernacle, I could see Xavier through the huge glass doors ––pacing, anxiously, prowling the foyer like a lion waiting on his prey. It looked like he was wearing one of the suits, the grey one, that I’d helped him pick out when we’d gone shopping at Lenox Mall right before we came back to DC in May.
    His head was down as he paced, as if he was thinki ng, trying to figure out his next move, and though this was the way I wanted it, I had to admit that I was a bit nervous. It was going to be hard to face him, but this was the plan. Xavier was part of my sacrifice and he had to be one of my casualties.
    Ta king a final glance at Xavier, I pulled my car into the space that was reserved for my parents. Now, even more than yesterday, I was glad that they were not here to witness all of this. I wanted everything to be complete before they came home and had to face these people.
    Even after turning off the ignition, I sat in my car and turned up the volume. As usual, WHUR was doing it, playing the best in Sunday morning music.
    “I need you now! I need you now...not another second or another minute...”
    I closed my e yes and from my shoulders up, swayed to Smokie Norful’s soulful voice. I got into the words, especially the part where he sang about needing God right away. That’s how I felt. I needed God now. Because having to face Xavier wasn’t going to be easy.
    Yes, th is was a plan that had come straight from God, but Xavier could be a scary dude. I mean, as handsome as he was, there was no doubt, he had been some places. Sometimes when I looked at him, he reminded me of someone who’d been to prison and who had spent every one of his free hours in the pen working out. I knew that wasn’t the case, though.
    Xavier had grown up very different from the penitentiary look that he had. Even though he ’d been raised by his single mother