attention.
âHonestly,â Nell whispers. âShe sounds like someone in a gangster movie.â
âYes.â Josh struggles to retain control of the situation. âJust forget we came here.â
âI could,â Sadie muses. âBut I might need some cake to remind me to forget.â And watching our faces as we try not to laugh, she bangs her small fist on the table and cackles, loving her power. âI see you smiling, Josh, and you, Lola! Ha ha.â
âThe only way to survive extortion is to own up,â I say. âIâll tell Caroline it was me.â
âOK,â Josh agrees, âthatâs fine. My mum loves you.â
âWhatâs extortion?â asks Sadie.
Sure enough, Caroline laughs when I tell her what Sadie said.
âOh, sheâs so lucky to be having all this fun with you, Lola. I donât know what I would do without you. Weâll have to see if you canât carry on coming a bit in term time, or weâll all miss you.â
The next day is a day I can remember every moment of. Sadie and I come in from crab fishing, and for once I bring her to our house because sheâs really wet and cold and itâs right next to the quay. In fact, I brought her home because I thought Mum would like to meet her. Sadie is sitting at the kitchen table, twizzling her plaits while I make her some toast, when Mum comes in. Sadie is in full flow of astory about her crab, who is in a bucket on the table in front of her.
âHeâs waving at me. Look at his claws, theyâre toes really, arenât they? I love that crab, Lola. His name is Jeffrey Johnson.â She squeals, blowing him kisses from a safe distance. âHeâs my pet. Iâm going to keep him in the cage with Neoprene. They can be best friends.â
The toast pops up and I butter it, not noticing Mum come into the kitchen because I am listening to Sadie.
Mum is suddenly right behind me. âLola. I have to talk to you. Iâm so sorry, darling. I donât know how you will react to what I am going to say, but please try to remember that I love you.â
I am instantly afraid, and I donât know what I am afraid of but it is making my heart bang against my chest so hard I am amazed Sadie canât hear it.
Startled, I turn to face her.
âIâd better take Sadie home,â I mutter, and picking up Sadie and the bucket containing Jeffrey Johnson, I shoot out of the house. I donât know what Mumâs going to say, but I donât think Sadie needs to hear it.
âYour mumâs got sad eyes,â Sadie observes into my ear as I scuttle along the pavement with her held tight in my arms, the water from the crab bucket slopping over my feet. âShe canât help crying, can she?â
Tears of sympathy for poor Mum well up, and I just post Sadie through the front door with Jeffrey Johnson and shout, âHere she is, sorry, must go!â before slamming out again. Miss Mills waves to me just as I am reaching our gate, and I wave back,smiling my biggest smile, even though she is half blind, and I very much doubt she can see my face properly. I want so badly to believe that everything is all right.
Mum has made a pot of tea and cleared away Sadieâs toast. I look at the shiny dark surface of the kitchen table where everything is tidy, and tears begin to drip down my face because I know nothing is going to be the same any more, and I can suddenly feel the huge weight of my mumâs unhappiness.
She takes my hand in both of hers.
âDad and I have both decided that we can no longer remain married,â she says.
Is that how most people do it, then? Is there a set line that they look up in some sort of handbook for parents who want to break up? I know the next line, and yes, here it comes.
âBut we both love you, and none of this is to do with you, itâs to do with us.â
Huh! How can it possibly not be to do with me when I