Phoenix Rising (Book Two of The Icarus Trilogy) Read Online Free PDF Page B

turned his head to look at his comrade, keeping the ghost of his brother in his periphery.  As much as it hurt, Hector didn’t want to lose sight of the apparition.
    “Are you ok, Carver?”  The old man seemed to ignore the soldier’s question but soon turned his head to face Cortes.
    “Same as always, Cortes.  My body’s old.  I’m tired.  It doesn’t mean a thing.”  Cortes looked at the veteran and wondered if Carver was trying to convince himself by saying it.  The Spaniard then looked back towards the ground and noticed that Sam had disappeared again.  Cortes knew that the ghost would be back soon enough.
    “Not what I’m talking about.  Are you ok, Carver?”  The old man turned his head back again and Cortes could feel the man glaring at him, but that was fine.  It was something Cortes was willing to endure.
    “Awful lot of people asking about my welfare these days.  Why you want to know?”  Cortes looked back at the old man and shrugged.
    “Because if it was just age you would be gone, old man.  I know that everyone else would be gone if they had as much money as you.”  Carver continued to look at the Spaniard, but leaned back against the wall a bit more.
    “Everyone else?”  Cortes realized that he might have to tell the veteran his own story.  The Spaniard hadn’t told anyone why he was there, or what he was doing while he was, but Carver might understand.  The old man might understand why Cortes intentionally aimed away from soldiers and let himself die.
    “I think you’re like me.  I think you’re only here because of something you’ve done.  And while you were always a soldier before him….” Cortes said before realizing that this conversation could go very poorly.  “Well, you haven’t been the same since Jenkins came back.”  Cortes watched as Carver sank back against the wall and looked off into space.
    “Seems like I’m wearing my thoughts on the outside.  I must be getting really old,” Carver said before sighing.  “Gave up my money, Cortes.  Let them change Jenkins.  I’m gonna die here and my legacy is that I ruined a good kid.”  Cortes finally understood; Carver had just wanted to avoid another situation like Washington.  That poor soldier had to live through the kind of suffering no one should have to endure.  It was the kind of suffering that Cortes couldn’t understand.  Every time he had done it, Washington had damned himself to hell.  Cortes was still lost in thought when he realized that Carver was looking back at him.
    “That enough like you?”  Cortes gulped as he realized that he would either have to figure out a really good lie or tell Carver everything.  The Spaniard could see that Sam was sitting right next to him out of his periphery, but he ignored it.  Carver was looking directly at him and would notice if he interacted with the hallucination.
    “I killed my brother, Carver.”  He waited for Carver to say something but after a few moments of silence he realized the old man was giving him the time to explain himself.  He cleared his throat and tried to continue his story.
    “I killed another man, too, but I still see my brother.  I know my brain’s lying to me, but I see him.  It’s more than I can really take, but I deserve it.  I deserve to go to Hell,” he said.  Cortes’ voice was starting to waver, but he wanted to get through this confession before any other soldiers came back.  He could trust Carver with the information, but he didn’t know if it would be safe in any other person’s hands.
    “I was given the choice to die right there or come to Eris.  And I had a crisis of faith.  I wanted to go to Hell, but I didn’t know if it really existed.  God and the Devil were not so definite when I was given the choice like that.  I chose Eris because it was the closest to Hell I could guarantee.  Here I die over and over in my way of atoning.  And I don’t want others to die, not anymore.