Pax Britannia: Human Nature Read Online Free PDF

in his features and pre-empted any further delay with a brusque, "He's with me."
    Passing through a gloomy walnut-panelled hallway, motes of disturbed dust spinning lazily in the thin beams of autumn sunlight that managed to penetrate the grimy leaded windows, the dandy and his batman followed the signs to the exhibition and came at last to the hallowed hall of ephemera that was Cruickshank's Cabinet of Curiosities.
    They had barely crossed the threshold of the equally drear and dusty room in which the exhibition was temporarily being housed when they were met by an anxiously fidgeting man sporting an startling yellow checked waistcoat under his even more startling crushed green velvet jacket - that made him look like some kind of showman, which, Ulysses considered, was probably precisely what he was. He had an impressive belly - no doubt the product of a strong attraction to ale - and an even more impressive curled handlebar moustache. In fact, this sideshow man appeared to have made a feature of his hair; his moustache was matched by his bushy eyebrows which looked like they were trying to take flight to join the curly, upstanding knot on the top of his head. Between the eyebrows and the moustache, the man's face was a podgy pink mass of broken veins and purple cheeks, a bulbous, gout-swollen nose and a pair of beady black eyes buried amidst all the flesh.
    "And who are you?" Ulysses asked, even though there could be no doubt.
    "I, sir, am the curator and owner of this museum of marvels, this assembly of astonishments," the man blustered, going red in the face as he did so. "I, sir, am Cruickshank - Mycroft Cruickshank." It looked to Ulysses like the curator's moustache might unravel itself as he seethed away, his complexion steadily turning to beetroot. "And who, sir, are you?"
    "Oh, don't you recognise me? You really don't know?"
    "Such arrogance!" Cruickshank bridled. "Why the arrogance of you, sir!"
    "It's just that I thought you might have recognised me from the papers or the MBBC newscasts."
    From a few feet behind him, Ulysses heard Nimrod sigh in polite impatience. Goading pompous fools might be sport for Ulysses but it was a game others soon tired of, including the Quicksilver family's long-suffering butler.
    "No, sir, I do not!"
    In a trice Ulysses had whipped out his card-holder again. "Ulysses Quicksilver, at your service."
    "Oh," was all the exhibition's proprietor could muster as he read the details of Ulysses' ID. And then, recovering himself again: "I see. But your services are not required, sir."
    "Look, I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, but I could be of help here."
    Cruickshank looked Ulysses up and down, while Ulysses gave the curator a second once-over.
    "You know about the debacle surrounding Her Majesty's 160 th jubilee celebrations," Ulysses went on.
    "Well, yes, of course," Cruickshank had to admit.
    "And the loss of the cruise-liner Neptune was widely reportedly in the press I believe."
    "What? Yes, I did read of it."
    "Well, that was me. I was the one who got everyone out of some rather tight spots."
    "Oh, I see."
    "So, if you wouldn't mind letting us carry on with our work, I'll make sure we keep out of your way. All right?"
    Ulysses took a step forward but Cruickshank moved to block him again.
    "It's not that," he said, bushy brows beetling, his face already a much calmer shade of cerise. "It's just that Mr Wraith is already on the case."
    "What?" The muscles of Ulysses' face tightening and a bloom of colour now came to his cheeks.
    "Yes. Mr Wraith is already helping the police solve this mystery."
    "Wraith?" Ulysses gasped incredulously. "Gabriel Wraith?"
    "The very same, sir. London's foremost consulting detective. We are most fortunate. Perhaps now we'll discover just what's been going on around here." Cruickshank cast his eyes around the panelled room and its many and varied glass display cases.
    "When did he get here?"
    Cruickshank consulted his pocket watch. "Almost an hour ago. It