Passing Through Paradise Read Online Free PDF Page B

didn’t happen to people like Victor.
    “You always understood the Winslows better than I ever did,” Sandra observed.
    “Maybe so.” Dorrie brushed her hand over Sandra’s head in an old, familiar gesture. “Relax, honey. The investigation is over. What happened was a terrible accident. You’re finally free to grieve for your husband.”
    Sandra propped her chin on top of her drawn-up knees. Freedom to grieve was not what she needed right now. She pressed her jaws together to keep from blurting out the latest incident of vandalism. Someone had spray-painted the letters
O.J.
on the side of the garage. Though she didn’t sense any physical danger, the vicious implication of the act still shook her. But she was more angry than scared. She’d applied that anger to scrubbing off the graffiti, taking most of the paint with it. If that was grieving, she was getting good at it.
    She poured herself more tea, willing her nerves to calm. She used to think there was no problem so enormous that sharing a cup of tea with her mother couldn’t fix it. Now she had found that problem, and it was a whopper. And yet, just for these few moments, warmed by the intimacy of a shared cup of tea, she found it easier to breathe.
    “Hey, Mom,” she said, “what would you think if I sold the house?”
    Her mother’s eyebrows lifted behind her glasses. “You’re going to leave here?”
    “I have to face facts. Now that Victor’s gone, it’s time for me to pick up the pieces and put together some sort of life for myself. Somewhere else. Somewhere far from here.”
    Her mother studied her intently. It might have been a trick of the light, but Sandra sensed something more than the usual wisdom and compassion in her mother’s face. There was sadness, too. A sort of surrender.
    “Maybe you’re right, dear. Your grandparents left the house to you, free and clear. It’s your decision.”
    “This place has been in the family forever. Do you think Dad would be upset?”
    “The only thing that upsets him is making bogey when he’s shooting for par. Honestly, he hasn’t thought about this place in years.” She glanced around the room. “You’ll have to get some work done before listing it. Hire someone.”
    “I think I already have.” Sandra felt an odd little quiver inside, thinking of Malloy. On some level, she suspected she might be inviting more into her life than a simple contract with a handyman. “A . . . guy stopped by yesterday and looked around. He’s going to put together a proposal. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’m broke.”
    “That’s temporary. Victor’s life insurance belongs to you, and it’s high time you received it.” She ran her hand over the threadbare arm of the old sofa.
    “My lawyer’s handling that.” She didn’t add that after deducting legal fees and paying off the debts from Victor’s latest campaign, she’d barely have enough to cover the restoration work, but she was determined. She couldn’t stay here, walled off from the world, no matter how much she loved the wild shores of Blue Moon Beach. What had happened that night, what was said in the car, had changed her life. But she couldn’t let it destroy her. Thanks to the painfully drawn-out process of the inquest, she’d been obliged to stay in town. With the proceedings behind her, she was free to go at last.
    “So you want to leave Paradise.” Her mother gazed out the window at the wide winter sky. “You always seemed so at-home here. This was the place where . . . I thought you found what you were looking for.”
    “I did, but my only link was Victor. That’s become clear enough since the accident. Other than my hairdresser—who’s from Texas—these people were Victor’s friends, Victor’s constituents. I always thought of this house as my sanctuary, but it’s not anymore.”
    “Will you return to Providence, then?” her mother asked.
    To Providence, not
home.
Sandra thought it was an odd way to phrase it. She