Paradise Fields Read Online Free PDF

asked me if she was on drugs.’
    â€˜I think it’s highly unlikely.’ Vivian paused for a minute. ‘Are you just worrying because her boyfriend lives in London? They have drugs in Bristol, you know. Here, too, actually.’
    â€˜I know! It’s just that round here, if anything happened, I could be with her in minutes.’
    â€˜Do the boys smoke dope or anything?’
    â€˜Probably, but they don’t do it here, and don’t let me know anything about it.’
    â€˜They’re very protective.’
    â€˜Yes. But what about Fleur? You really don’t think there’s anything different about her?’
    â€˜No, I don’t. I think Simon worries too much. And he makes you worry too, which is worse.’
    â€˜He means well.’
    â€˜I always think that’s the worst thing anyone can say about anyone.’
    Nel ate a misshapen holly leaf she didn’t want. ‘I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Simon is a good man. He’s concerned for my family.’
    Vivian patted her friend’s arm. ‘I know. But I’m sure he’s got lots of good points as well.’
    Later, alone, Nel, waiting to wash the floor after the dogs had licked up all the spilt icing, thought about the water meadows.
    She had taken the children there the first summer they arrived. It was the school holidays, and she was struggling to do something nice with them. Something normal.
    There were children already playing, ranging from toddlers to school-age ones. Some of the older ones were organising the younger ones into a game of rounders. A group of mothers established round a bench smiled at Nel, encouraging her to place her rug next to theirs. They asked her if she was new to the area and clearly felt a little awkward when she told them she was a widow.
    â€˜Oh God,’ said one. ‘We’ve just spent the last half an hour complaining about our husbands and their irritating ways.’
    â€˜It’s all right,’ said Nel. ‘My husband used to think it was helpful if he rinsed out his coffee mug, completely unaware that he hadn’t washed the rim at all and there were drips all down the side.’
    â€˜And now you’d do anything to have him leave drips down the sides of the mugs?’ said another woman.
    â€˜And hear him snoring, and farting in bed, and all the other disgusting things that men do.’ Nel paused to regain her composure. ‘But it was still very irritating at the time.’
    â€˜What did he do?’
    â€˜Something in the City.’ Nel shrugged. ‘To be honest, I always wondered if the pressure of work had something to do with him getting ill.’
    â€˜Oh? Was it a heart attack?’
    Nel shook her head. ‘Cancer. It was very quick.’ Then she smiled, to keep back the tears which were threatening. ‘Very good insurance pay-off though!’
    A woman, who perhaps saw how close to weeping Nel was, said, ‘So you can afford the chocolate therapy then?’
    Nel nodded, biting her lip. ‘Unfortunately, my hips can’t.’
    It had been a golden afternoon, a turning point for Nel and her family. From then on they felt embraced by the community, and while their grief was still omnipresent, it became more livable with.
    At last the dogs, a trio of Cavalier King Charles spaniels, having made their ears disgustingly sticky, decided that there wasn’t anything left on the floor, and Nel started with her mop. Once she had washed one bit of floor, she decided she might as well do the rest. Simon had said he might pop round and ‘might’ often meant ‘would’, so Nel really had to make the necessary adjustments to the house. She would have preferred a quiet evening on her own.
    She had told Simon early on that she couldn’t bearthe thought of a stepfather for her children, not while they were living at home. Her two sons were away most of the time, at university, or