leaf. A new start.
Ok,
so, I have to write 3 pages. A day. Luann, my darlin’ therapist told me to. I don’t know why. It seems like a waste of time to me. But she said that it was important. Write
down all my thoughts. My feelings. She said I needed to know what I am raging
about before I can heal it. What rage? Is she insane? So, maybe, I guess
my new therapist is a little nuts.
Luann
is one of those new age touchy feely freaks. She doesn’t even have an office. I go to her apartment. We sit in her living room. Like a bunch of hippies. On our asses. Well, I guess it is more comfortable than a stodgy old leather chair in
a dusty office. She does have these
gorgeous silk pillows to sit on and she makes this lovely chamomile tea with
honey or something. Oh, she has so many
pillows. Like those Indian style
patterns covered with bells. You know, I
think the Indian look is in now. Maybe I
could get a few red ones or pink pillows for my set. Hang some of those gauzy curtains. Get the girls to wear those bells around
their waists, like belly dancers. That
would be sexy! Men would like that. Yeah.
What
else? Luann has tons of bells. Bells
everywhere. Today, while she was
talking, I counted 10 bells on her bookshelf. And one huge iron one on her coffee table. She said that one was from Thailand. She studied massage in Thailand. Wonder what university that was at? Whatever. She is so nuts. Oh yeah, she also
burns incense. I don’t know what it’s
called. It kinda smells like pot, but
more like pot mixed with flowers. I
don’t know. Patchouli or Frankincense or
something?
Adriana
told me about her. One of my girls. Well ex-girls. She doesn’t work for me anymore. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad
thing. She said Luann helped her turn
her life around. And now she is
happy. Married! To a nice man actually. They moved to Chicago. Computer job or something. So, yeah I think that’s good.
Let
me tell you, that girl used to be a disaster. Always whining about her clients. And how hard her life was. And
it’s true, she did get slimy clients. But that’s because she liked them. I swear. They kept asking for her exclusively. And every girl knows how to treat a man that
you don’t like, so he gets the hint. No,
I think she liked the attention. Hell,
of course she did! She got her tits done
for the attention didn’t she? Not that
she needed it. She started at D. Imagine how her back is going to feel when
she’s 70. Whatever. Now, she’s a different person. And she dropped like 20 pounds. Ha! Can you believe it! So, basically she looks like Dolly Parton
now. Huge tits and a tiny waist. And bleached blonde hair. Ha!
So,
I thought what the hell, right? I was thinking of going to a shrink anyways. I need someone to talk to about my life. My god damned husband. And this god damned marriage. And sure, I could use a stress break. No, I’ve been thinking about it for a long
time. But, I never really looked into it
you know? Don’t want any referrals from
my doctor. Don’t want anyone knowing my
business. I can pay for it. Don’t need approval from OHIP. I don’t care if it’s covered with my
insurance or not. I pay cash. No money trail. Plus, it’s just for me. It’s my time. Lord knows, I need my time. Need someone to sort out these crazy thoughts
I’m having.
I
couldn’t go to a man. NO. What would a man do? Listen to my story and then want to have sex
with me. Or want me to give him a blow
job. For sure, he would. As soon as I told him what I do. No, I can afford it. I want to pay for it right and straight. No more goddamned lying cheating sex grabbing
two faced men!!!!!! God. Really. Jesus