Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman Read Online Free PDF Page B

And that's another thing, I'm not even wired straight the right way. My relationships have always fizzled. I'm wired differently. My sexuality is twisted. That's how I'm wired.
     
    REGINA
    (Coming out of her dejection a bit)
    What does that mean, "twisted?"
     
    ME
    Never mind. I gotta go.
    ( Then I made the mistake of shooting her some solid eye contact)
     
    REGINA
    (Awkward pause)
    Wait . There’s something dark about you; I have it too. Don’t you feel it?
     
    ME
    ( I grabbed her helmet and put it on her head)
    The best thing you can do is get out of here before any damage happens to our new friendship.
     
    REGINA
    You do feel it! Busted!
     
    ME
    (I started blushing at the truth of it!)
    We don’t even know each other.
     
    REGINA
    C’mon. What do I have to do to make this “date” happen? It will be totally platonic. It’s not going to kill you. No harm, no foul. I'll do anything! Anything. I’ll take you shopping or to the movies. I'll wash your dishes. Anything.
     
    ME
    My dishes? Now you’re talking! But seriously, we’d better keep it at yoga and coffee.
     
    And I turned and walked away. After a moment, I saw her drive off on her vegetarian Vespa.  I knew that things were going too fast to be real. Fuck.
     
    But then about a minute later when I was unlocking my car, she came speeding back up.  She looked me square in the eye with a troubled expression and said, "I've never worn another woman's boots before."  And she sped off. I must admit, if any parting shot had the force to reach me, it would be that exact line! I played poker face and pretended not to be affected in the least. Fuck her. She is clearly unstable!
     
    It’s really awkward now. I don’t know how to be around her.
     
    Later on, I skipped yoga class. I wasn’t in the head space to deal with her. I figured I would have to change to an entirely different yoga studio.  It pissed me off because everything was great and I loved that class. Why should I be the one that has to change my life when she was the one who blew it? Whatever. I really needed a little breather. She might have skipped it too for all I know. Who cares?
     
    --- SATURDAY MARCH 24 --- The most intense day of my life
     
    Just when you think you have yourself all figured out, some joker comes along and turns everything on its head. Thanks, Regina.
     
    Victoria called today. She wanted to go out for drinks. But I wasn’t in the mood. She’ll be fine. I’ll catch up with her another time.
     
    Now what am I supposed to do today? I feel lazy and unmotivated. I tried watching a movie on Netflix, but after scrolling through the list for 20 minutes back and forth, I finally gave up on the idea. None of the films sounded any good or I had already seen them. What a waste of a Saturday.
     
    So I started vacuuming.  That’s always therapeutic for some reason.  I like the way it looks afterward with the indentation lines in the carpet.  When I was putting the vacuum away, I noticed my pile of dishes in the sink.  It only took about two seconds until I heard Regina’s voice in my head saying, “I’ll wash your dishes.” Really? Fine.  Let’s put her to the test.
     
    Against my better judgment, like putting out a fire with gasoline, I picked up the phone and called Regina. I was literally shaking out of nerves. But I stiffened up when she answered. She answered in a sweet voice, as if the whole park incident had never happened. Masking my emotions, I put it out there, “Are you really serious about washing my dishes?”  She melted in her tone. “If you’re serious, I’ll prove to you I don’t want anything from you other than your company. I can be there in an hour.” “Fine,” I said matter-of-factly. “But you are literally only going to wash my dishes.” She eagerly snapped, ”That’s all I want to do. I’ll wash them and you can just relax visit with me… or read a book!”  And that was that. Why was I setting myself up for insane and