Out of the Blue Read Online Free PDF

shopping bags, and hugged me tight. She kissed my cheek and she squealed, “I can’t believe you’re going to get married.”
    “Well, I have to ask him first, and I’m not going to until our anniversary, which is still months away.”
    “Yes, but it’s not like he’s going to say no.” Caroline bounced on the spot.
    I agreed with her, but then I thought of how Cam had acted that past week. His strange behavior put a damper on my mood, and I couldn’t shake the worry that his answer might not be yes.
    As I walked home that afternoon, I thought about the symptoms of Cam’s problem. It seemed to have something to do with me—my face, or my eyes… something—there was a reason he couldn’t look at me. Wracking my brain, I tried to come up with a solution. I would ask him again of course, but Cam was never one to share his problems, especially work ones.
     

Chapter Three
     
     
    Cameron
     
    I made it through my shifts, but each time a call came through, my heart jumped and I held my breath, hoping it wasn’t a vehicle accident. Each time I breathed a sigh of relief when there were no car wrecks and my shift passed easily.
    I arrived home after a weekend of day shift and Jake looked a little preoccupied and on edge. He looked at me like he was trying to figure out a complicated math problem.
    “You okay, babe?” I asked, as we sat on the couch after finishing dinner.
    He ran his hands through his hair and faced me.
    “What’s going on?” Jake asked, his voice soft.
    “What’s going on with what?” My heart plummeted as I replied a little too cheerily. I knew what he was asking, yet I kept my focus on the TV.
    “Why do you have trouble looking at me?” He sounded a little frustrated. Confused and sad.
    Fuck. How did I answer that? I couldn’t blow him off like I had last time he asked, but how did I explain that when I looked at him, I didn’t see the luminosity, warmth or humor in his eyes that I normally reveled in? I saw his death, and it brought a cold sense of dread that I could feel deep in my bones. How could I tell him that when I saw his chocolate brown hair I saw it matted with his own blood? When I saw his eyes, their deep blue color with silver flecks that would light up an entire room with one small smile, I saw them dull and lifeless. His pink plump lips, blue with death. How did I tell him any of this without bringing up memories of his parents’ accident? I hated to see the hurt and disappointment that was in his eyes now, because of me.
    If I gave my fear a voice, said it out loud, would it come true? I was so damn scared that it was a premonition that my throat closed up and my blood turned to ice every time I looked at him.
    I was hurting Jake, the one person that meant more to me than anyone else in the world, but because I didn’t know how to stop the images from invading my mind, I didn’t know how to stop hurting him.
    When I couldn’t see Jake’s face, I felt almost normal. I was able to run and go to the gym and socialize, all like nothing was wrong. But when we were at home and it was only the two of us where face-to-face contact was difficult to avoid, the tension came back and I hurt Jake all over again. I was breaking his heart and in turn breaking my own.
    “There’s some… things that I’d rather you not know.” My choice of words wasn’t the best, and Jake’s eyes flashed.
    “For fuck’s sake, Cam. I know something about the accident is bothering you; why won’t you tell me?”
    “You don’t need to know about the images I have running through my head, okay? No one needs to see them or hear about them. Understood?” I snapped. My mood swings lately sucked.
    I couldn’t lie, but I was too terrified to tell him the truth. Terrified that he’d be in an accident and despite my skills as a rescue firefighter, I wouldn’t be able to save him.
    Long minutes passed in silence, and Jake’s shoulders heaved with his suppressed anger. I dropped my head and