Our Gods Wear Spandex Read Online Free PDF

cult-like worship.
    The same is true of real-life heroes. Alexander (356–323 B.C.E.), the Macedonian prince who had conquered most of the known world before dying at the tender age of thirty-three, became a superhero in the ancient world. Every would-be conqueror in antiquity measured himself against Alexander. Julius Caesar (100–44 B.C.E.) came on the scene when historians were far less likely to deify their subjects, but he still set a standard to which alpha males have aspired ever since.
    The question is raised: were the ancient myths that developed around these superheroes ever meant to be read the way Christians read their Scripture? Were these stories all considered sacred, or were some meant simply as entertainment? The people of the Hellenistic world were not naïve. Their culture produced great thinkers on whom we have built our modern society. It's unlikely that educated Greeks took the gods and their myths at face value. It's far more probable that these stories simply supplied a cultural context that allowed the Hellenes to metaphorically interpret the meaning of life and the world around them, much as Aesop's or Jesus' parables did.
    Gradually, the Greeks and the Romans turned away from these imperfect gods in favor of more idealized deities, particularly the great mother goddesses like Cybele and Isis, and dying/resurrecting solar gods like Mithras and Adonis. The merging of these pagan cults with Platonic philosophy and Hebrew morality resulted in the emergence of Christianity, a cult that eventually dominated most of the Western world. In retrospect, it all seems inevitable. The old gods were too fanciful and the mystery cults too abstract. Yet, Hellenes like Luke and Paul simply drew upon this same blend of myth and morality to spin their own tales. And the history of religion always comes down to who tells the best stories, doesn't it?
PEOPLE OF THE BOOK
    The Hebrews were always great storytellers, expertly embroidering myth and parable into their tribal history. In many ways, the great prophets of the Old Testamentare the small “g” gods of their monotheistic culture. They were supermen who had a sort of bat-phone to the divine. Unlike the Greek heroes, however, their power was not their own. It was granted to them by Yahweh, and their feats were meant to bear witness to his wrath.
    The contribution the Jews made to Western mythology was to present heroes worth emulating for their morality, not merely their strength or courage. Heroes like Moses, David, and Saul were warriors, liberators, and kings, but they carried the added burden of having to adhere to the incredibly complex Mosaic laws of the Old Testament.
    Many theologians have pointed out the essentially solar nature of heroes like Elijah and Samson, both of whom are thought to derive from stories of Hercules. Like Hercules, Samson (whose name means “Of the Sun”) was betrayed by a woman. Hercules created the two pillars named for him by smashing through a mountain that sealed the Mediterranean at Gibraltar. Samson destroyed the Temple of Dagon by knocking down two pillars. Like Hercules, Elijah wore animal skins. Hercules was often identified with the Sun, and Elijah ascended to heaven in a flaming chariot identical to that of Helios, god of the Sun.
    Following the Babylonian captivity, later prophets were portrayed as seers, which some scholars believe shows a Zoroastrian influence on Judaism. 6 They also express an increased messianic expectation. Zechariah 9:9 prophesies that the Messiah would ride into Jerusalem on two asses, a colt and a foal, which Christians cite as a prophecy of Jesus. The “manger” ( Praesepe ) and “the two asses” ( Assellus Borealis and Assellus Australis ) are stars in the constellation of Cancer, which the Sun enters on the Summer Solstice. 7 This may show that Asian solar traditions had a definite impact on Hebrew iconology. Many alternative historians believe that the solar traditions had an especially