Our Gods Wear Spandex Read Online Free PDF Page A

colorful and exotic gods, whom they called the Netjer . Their gods controlled all aspects of creation and existence, leading some to believe that the word “nature” is a Latin adaptation of netjer . Since their exoteric religion focused primarily on the “next world”—that is, death, judgment, and the afterlife—the Egyptians raised the god Osiris, lord of the underworld, above all others. Osiris sat in judgment of the dead and determined whether they went to paradise, or whether their souls were destroyed. Later, Osiris was overshadowed by his sister and wife, Isis, a goddess who served many functions and over time absorbed those of earlier goddesses.
    Isis was the mother of Horus, the hawk-headed god of kings. Horus was the god of the Sun, of the sky, and of the horizons (“Horus-zones”). Some scholars believe that the very word “hero” derives from his Egyptian name, Heru (Horus is the Greek rendering of the name). 4 Horus was also the star of one of the first great action-adventure dramas, The Contendings of Horus and Set . In these dramas, Horus and his evil uncle, Set (who was responsible for sending Osiris to the after-world), contend for the throne of Egypt in a series of battles that would do any comic-book writer proud. The two gods shape-shift; they race boats of stone; they maim each other; their body parts become lotus flowers. In the end, Horus winsthe throne and Set is granted dominion over the western desert. Thus in life, every king of Egypt is an incarnation of Horus and, in death, becomes the new Osiris.

    Egyptians were extremely syncretic in their religion. They absorbed gods and goddesses from other tribes and cities, even from other nations. It is now believed that Horus was actually imported into Egypt by tribes of chariot-driving warriors who came down from Mesopotamia. 5 Horus then absorbed the roles of earlier gods and came to be closely identified with Ra, the primeval god of the Sun.
    Today, Egypt's power over the popular imagination is undiminished. Since the discovery of the Rosetta Stone in 1799, an astonishing number of texts left from ancient Egypt have been translated. We see Egyptian iconography everywhere, not just on the back of our dollar bill. The greater legacy of Egypt, however, is in its role as birthplace of the mystery religions. The pyramids and tombs of Egypt were places of initiation for scholars all across the ancient world. Isis eventually became the supreme goddess of Rome. The trinity of Osiris, Isis, and Horus became central to the Hellenistic mystery cults, and some would say to Rosicrucianism and Freemasonry as well. For thousands of years, esotericists have sought to resurrect the Egyptian mysteries so that the power that built those inexplicable monuments can be harnessed once again.
GREECE AND ROME
    The early Greeks and the Romans worshipped roughly the same pantheon as the Egyptians, albeit under different names. Gods like Zeus/Jupiter, Hera/Juno, Hermes/Mercury, and Helios/Apollo starred in fanciful dramas that were depicted in murals, friezes, pottery, poems, and statues. The gods fought epic battles against their predecessors, the Titans, and later interacted with humans in allegorical parables. Each god was assigned mastery over a specific art or science, or facet of nature. Their icons and images persist to this day, especially in our modern superheroes.
    The epic myths of the Greeks all centered around godlike superheroes. The outcome of the Trojan War hinged, not on the armies of Greece and Troy, but on the mighty warriors Hector and Achilles. Odysseus lent his name to the title ofHomer's epic poem, The Odyssey , which is still used as a synonym for high adventure. Hercules and his Twelve Labors were a favorite in the classical world, as were the stories of the great sea captain, Jason, and his brotherhood of warriors, the Argonauts. To the Greeks, these heroes were essentially demigods. Reverence for Hercules as a hero developed later into