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My mother sobbed. Eddie’s
stomach rumbled.
    He winked at me and continued, “You, my
Anna, are my other half. Your amazing mind, your sense of humor, and your
feistiness make you the missing piece that makes me whole. Though I worried I
might scare you away, it didn’t take me long to realize that you fear nothing,
and to know you are the one I need beside me for the rest of my life.”
    He reached into his pocket and took out
the tiny gold ring, looked back into my eyes, and asked, “Anna, will you take
me as your husband, to have, hold, love, and support; do you promise to bake
cookies for me, rub my back, kiss my lips, and cherish me and us together until
death parts us?”
    One renegade tear dripped down my cheek.
Eddie caught it on his thumb as I said, “Until death parts us, I do.” He
slipped the ring on my finger, and I sniffled.
    Then it was my turn.
    I took a tiny note card from my poufy
sleeve and said, “Eddie, on our first date, I was certain that we would never
speak again, let alone date and end up married. But you, my friend, did grow on
me.”
    I heard my dad laugh.
    I glanced at my notes and continued, “It
wasn’t your green eyes, your broad shoulders, or your smile that won me. It was
your humility, your intelligence, and your effortless way of caring for me. You
chased me down. You made me realize I was lonely when I’d never noticed before.
I want you beside me for the rest of my life.”
    I took his ring from the cleavage of my
gown, and he wiggled those eyebrows at me again, which made me laugh as I
asked, “Eddie, will you take me as your wife, to have, hold, love, and support;
do you promise to change my oil, take out the trash, rub my neck every day, and
cherish me and us together until death parts us?”
    He squeezed my hand, gave a sharp nod, and
shouted, “Until death parts us, I do!”
    I put the ring on his finger, and when I
looked up, his face was in my space, stealing my air, and he caught me
breathless in a kiss. Everyone cheered.
    The professor announced, “I now pronounce
you husband and wife. You may continue to kiss your bride.”
    He did. Eddie kissed me and kissed me some
more. Our wedding photo album is full of pictures of that kiss. When we came
back down to Earth, the guitar dude had finished his recessional song, and the
guests were on their second drink.
    | | | |
    And there you have it . Losing Eddie’s affection felt like dying before I
died. I couldn’t have lived my life without him anymore than I could have lived
without water or oxygen. I would’ve continued to suffer right alongside him for
the rest of my life. Though dying relieved me of having to face our problems,
the pain of our separation stings.

 
     
     
     
     
     
    6
Wandering
and Guidance After Death
     
    When I died , I surrendered everything—my family, my life, and all
control. Now it seems I am being tossed around randomly, riding on the whim of
an unsympathetic universe, back and forth in time, only able to wallow in
sadness and regret.
    It’s hard to get a grip on my perspective from the dead
side. From here, as I watch my family, I feel their agony, but not in my heart
as I always thought I did when emotional things hit me in life. In death, I
feel their pain everywhere, within me and without me.
    I have no arms or legs or organs, no
ears, eyes, or skin, and yet I can still sense everything.
The materials of me—my proteins and DNA—were stolen away by death. My well-used
carbon, nitrogen, and oxygen allowed
me to exist on Earth and live my life and take care of my family, but were
mere ly a minor part of me.
Without my molecules, my family thinks I’m gone from them. But I keep coming
back, remembering the past, and somehow I’m maintaining a level of voyeuristic
interaction with them.
    This is a remarkable surprise. When I
considered in life what death might be like, I never imagined that I would lose
only the use of my atoms. My power to think and love has survived my death.
    The