One Real Thing Read Online Free PDF Page B

the shaking. It was hard to tell if it was all fear or if something else was wrong, the lack of alcohol, the lack of some other drug.
    Nick put his hand on Holly’s. Christ, Holly was cold. “Holly?” He should’ve driven. At least then he’d have been able to pull over and find a doctor if he needed one.
    “I hate flying,” Holly said flatly. He didn’t pull his hand away at least. “I can’t breathe. There’s nowhere to go.”
    “I told you we could drive if you couldn’t handle flying.” Nick pried Holly’s hand off the armrest and flipped the bar up so there was nothing between them. “It’s too late now, but next time I offer something like that, tell me.”
    “You think I want to be stuck in a car with you that long?” Holly’s thin fingers dug into Nick’s hand, twitching with the tremors running through his body.
    “You used to like spending time with me.” In grad school, it seemed like every time Nick had turned around, Holly was there. Holly had been younger, an undergrad in the Communications department where Nick was a grad student, but age hadn’t made a difference to their friendship.
    “You weren’t trying to fix me back then. You didn’t give much of a damn, that I recall.”
    “Your memory of events differs greatly from mine,” Nick said dryly. He’d spent an inordinate amount of time wrangling Holly from self-destruction back then. As for giving a damn…Nick pushed the thought away. That wasn’t what this was about.
    “At least you kept it to yourself.” Holly’s death grip hadn’t loosened; he hadn’t gotten any less contradictory over the years.
    “Maybe you were more accustomed to it then because it was so constant, and now you’re out of practice.” The dull hum of the engines turned to a high whine as the plane rolled down the runway. Nick hadn’t thought it possible, but Holly’s grip tightened and his face paled even more.
    “I’d remember.” Holly’s voice was so thin.
    Damn it, Holly was never afraid of anything. That was what made caring about him such a living hell. He was always flinging himself headlong into any situation that might kill him and laughing the whole time, bouncing out of it as shiny as he’d gone in, while Nick was left trying to stuff his heart back down his throat. Taking the plane was about as safe as taking the subway—safer in some neighborhoods—but Holly looked like he was going to throw up.
    “Obviously you don’t.” Nick tried to keep the conversation natural, normal, hoping it would help distract Holly as the plane lurched into the air. “I lost count of how many times I dragged you out of frat houses and off rooftops.” The Seat Belt light hadn’t gone off, but the man on Nick’s left adjusted his tray table and seat, shifting until his arm and leg pressed against Nick. Nick slid closer to Holly.
    “You must be exponentially more fucking irritating when I’m sober. Which explains a lot.” One of Holly’s knees was bouncing, energy leaking out of him to release the pressure.
    “I suppose you’re going to have to get used to it.” Nick popped open the Dramamine and offered two more from his palm. “Try to breathe, Holly.”
    Holly picked up the pills and dropped them in his mouth. “Don’t worry. If I stop, you’ll just nag me about that too.” He wasn’t as taut as he had been, though. Maybe the first four pills were having some effect. On an empty stomach, Nick couldn’t imagine how they wouldn’t.
    Holly turned away once he’d swallowed. After another ten minutes, his grip slipped, and he relaxed into his seat. He still twitched and shivered sometimes, like he was cold or dreaming, but finally he seemed to be sound asleep.
    Nick kept hold of Holly’s hand. Just as a gauge of how Holly was doing, he told himself. Seeing Holly relaxed and sleeping was more of a relief than he’d thought it would be.
    The raucous laughter from a man several seats ahead startled Holly into sitting up, his grip on