One or Two Things I Learned About Love Read Online Free PDF Page B

really wants to go out with me. Someone who’s hugely attractive, super-charming and a good conversationalist. And who could walk through a china shop without putting it out of business. Sara says I shouldn’t get too excited. She says not to forget the Frog Factor. I said what do frogs have to do with the rainfall in Oklahoma? She said you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. (She read that in a magazine while she was waiting for her mother to have her root canal.) But Cristina says there’s no point starting out expecting the worst because if you do that’s exactly what you’ll get. However, Maggie says there’s a difference between negativity and realism. She says you should hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. And Nomi says that even though Connor’s cute and there’s no evidence that he starts food fights or that his feet smell like cheese, he could still be a disappointment. That’s just the way life is. I said that’s true. Life is like that. On the other hand, he might not be a disappointment. He might be the exception that proves the rule (as Gran would say). Life is like that, too. Nomi said if she was me she probably wouldn’t hold her breath.
    Mike’s agreed to swap my Thursday for her Saturday. She said no sweat. My mother wasn’t as gracious, because most of the time she needs me to help with Zelda on Saturdays since there’s no day camp. She kept saying, “You’re not going to make a habit of this, are you, Hildy?” I said, “What am I – an indentured servant?” Naturally, she ignored that. She said, “What about your pottery? You’re missing that too.” I said it’s only one day. What difference is one day going to make?

    I had a really hard time focusing at work today. I kept giving people potatoes when they asked for tomatoes, and tomatoes when they asked for potatoes. I put zucchini in with the cucumbers. I went to put a basket of onions on the table and I missed. Onions went rolling all over the parking area. Blue Eyeshadow Lady pulled in at exactly that moment. (Murphy’s Law strikes again.) She flattened about six before she finally came to a stop. Then she burst into tears. She thought she’d run over a prairie dog. Ely tried to tell her that we don’t have prairie dogs in this state but would she listen? No she would not. (Turns out she mowed one down in Colorado once and it scarred her for life.) I was holding up a squashed onion and saying, “Look! It’s not a prairie dog, it’s an edible bulb!” But she was crying too much to see it. By the time she calmed down her face was all blue. I was so stressed out after that, that I overcharged Green Pick-up Guy. “Scarlett, dear.” He held out his hand. “I thought I bought squash, not gold.” I apologized. Profusely. Later, Ely wanted to know if I was having some trouble at home or something, because I was so distracted. He said he knows how crazy families can get. (Ely’s father isn’t allowed within 40 miles of Redbank without being arrested. That’s how crazy he got.) I said it was nothing like that. I said I was finding it hard to concentrate because of the heat. No wonder none of the major inventions of the industrial age came out of tropical countries. Everybody was collapsed under palm trees, fanning themselves with giant leaves. (Unless their little sisters washed them after they dropped them in the toilet.) Ely said, “Whatever, Hildy. But I’m here if you ever need somebody to talk to.” I said I’d keep that in mind.
    The main reason I was all vague and preoccupied is that I can’t decide what to wear tomorrow. Which is why I couldn’t very well tell Ely. He was thinking heartbreak and fear, and I was thinking the jungle print or the skinny jeans. If I had some clue what we’re doing I’d know how to dress. I don’t want to look like I just threw on any old thing if his idea of getting to know each other is a candlelit dinner at a nice restaurant, but I don’t want to