once.
âWhatâre you doing?â Mom asks, leaning in the doorway. âWhy arenât you out with the guys?â
âShould I be climbing trees or rock-skipping or something?â I set the empty ice cream bowl on my night stand, next to a forgotten pizza plate thatâs starting to smell.
âItâll get easier.â Mom plops down beside me on my bed. Thereâs a ketchup stain on the collar of her gray T-shirt thatâs been there forever. âChange can be good.â
I scoff. âChange sucks.â
âWhy donât we go grab a coffee?â she asks, brightening. âMy treat.â
âYouâre my mother. Youâre legally obligated to pay for me until March 1.â
âComb your hair, smart ass.â She slaps my shoulder. âYouâre leaving this room.â
A few minutes later, weâre driving down Shelburne Road on our way to Dunkinâ Donuts. My mom car-dances to an overplayed rap song. I try to ignore this by staring out the window, but Iâm offered only crisp, green lawns and places that remind me of my friends. The bowling alley. The drug store. The movie theater.
When I canât take it anymore, I switch the radio to the country station. The beautiful sound of Tim McGraw fills the space.
âI was wondering how long that would take,â Mom says, grinning.
I wonder if this entire trip is some kind of test. âWhatâs the point of this outing?â
âI refuse to let you drop into a hole,â Mom replies cheerfully. âYouâve sulked all week. I allowed that. Today, you move on. And smile.â
âLadies donât smile,â I grumble. âLadies cross their ankles.â
Mom frowns as we pull into the Dunkinâ Donuts parking lot. She cuts the engine, unclasps her seatbelt, and turns to me. âGive me the word then,â she says. âOne word. And Iâll put you back in Burlington.â
For a moment, a flutter of excitement, but this has to be a trick. I ask, âAre you serious?â
She nods, pieces of her curly auburn hair breaking free from her ponytail. The older I get, the more I realize how much our looks differ. Her skin is flushed with colorful freckles while mine is pale and smooth. Her hair kinks into curls while mine is a sleek black. Her eyes? Dark brown, chocolatey. Mine? Light gray, the color of a darkening sky. Everyone says I look like my dad.
âI want to go back to Burlington,â I say. I hold my breath. Please. Say yes. Set everything right again .
âUgh! I canât let you do that, Toni.â She shakes her head, smiling. Ha. I knew it was a trick, but Iâm still disappointed. A simple yes wouldâve solved everything. âWinston is an amazing opportunity for you. Burlington was stunting your growth.â
Annoying. I donât need to grow. I think Iâm good as I am, thanks.
Inside, we each order an iced latteâI inherited my motherâs taste in all things beverageâand choose a table by the window. I press my head against the glass and sigh dramatically.
âHow did group go today?â she asks.
Oh, that group and sharing feelings thing. My nightmare. âIâve been transformed into a woman who eloquently expresses her feelings,â I say. âIâm cured.â
âWeâre not trying to cure youâ¦â Mom stops and takes a break from trying to raise my mood as she sips her latte in silence.
When a red VW Bug arrives in the parking lot, I sit up a little straighter. My spirits raise. The Bug belongs to Ollie. I wonder if the guys have come looking for me.
âWouldnât you know it. Your gentlemen have arrived.â Mom sounds less than thrilled. âWhich reminds me. Have you met any nice girls at school? It couldnât hurt to have at least one female friend.â
Iâm not really listening. Iâm watching Ollie and Cowboy climb out of the Bug, joking around,