(Once) Again Read Online Free PDF

entire way to the drugstore. Every time I tried to make conversation, she turned the volume of the radio up. I’d let her avoid the mom question for now. Give her enough time to get out of the dark place she retreated to. Even though I had no idea what it was that made her not want to talk—I got it. Because every time Liz or her boyfriend, Zach, asked me about my random zone outs, I lied. I couldn’t talk about it. It was my burden. Not theirs. I couldn’t do that to them.
    But I wanted to take that sadness, that hurt, away from Kat. She didn’t need to live with it inside of her. Eating away at all that was good. I wanted to be the person she could confide in. Because once upon a time, I
was
that person.
    Looking at her was like a thousand line drives to my chest. I fucked up. Never even introduced her to my family. Anybody. The only ones who knew about us . . . were us. Why did I do that? Back then she was just as beautiful and kind, and I was a fool who should’ve shown her the world instead of just the back of my pickup.
    Which is why when Liz was going through hell over her breakup with Zach, she didn’t think I understood. Little did she know, I understood all too well. A broken heart’s not something that’s easily forgotten. Not something you can just pick up and move on from. I put up a good front, pretending everything was okay. I had to. What other choice did I have? No one knew about it. About us. A part of me wanted to keep it that way. Made it a little more special. Like we were keeping a secret from the rest of the world. Only we were in on it.
    Maybe that’s why she never told me to stay. Why stay with someone who didn’t let the world know he loved her? Damn. I was an idiot.
    She pulled the car into a spot and came around to get my door. I should’ve been the one opening her door, but I couldn’t even get out of the car without her help.
    “I’m sorry,” I said as she shut the door behind me.
    “I don’t mind. I’m getting paid to do it anyway.” She started towards the entrance, and I reached out and pulled her elbow towards me. Soft curls spun around as she faced me.
    Her breath hitched. I took satisfaction in knowing my closeness affected her. “That’s not what I meant,” I said. The skin on the bridge of her nose pinched tight in confusion. Resisting the urge to touch that spot, I stroked circles with my thumb on her wrist. “I’m sorry you met my sister yesterday.”
    “Why would you be sorry about that?” Kat smirked. “She’s a sweetheart, and for whatever reason, she loves you. Though, she did refer to you as the ‘Golden Child.’”
    I rubbed at my forehead then dropped my hand to hold her other wrist. “What I mean is, you should have met her two years ago. All of my family, you should have met. I’m sorry I kept you to myself.”
    Her hair fell, covering her face, and I knew she did it so I wouldn’t see her reaction. I controlled my desire to push it away, afraid if I did, it wouldn’t be enough. Since she walked in my door, I had been dealing with a constant hard on. It was bad enough when I grabbed her elbow and her wrists. They should have warning labels for skin that soft.
    Finally, after what felt like hours, she lifted her head, tucking her hair behind her cute little ears. “Like I said the other day, it’s the past. Let it stay there.”
    It seemed so unfair. The past being allowed to stay there when I couldn’t go back. But why couldn’t we have what we once did? I just had to start from scratch. Show her all the reasons why she once loved me.
    “You’re right. No use reliving it. So I’ll get the meds, you get the bandages. Meet at the register?”
    She adjusted her purse on her shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.”
    We walked into the store and went our separate ways. I limped through the makeup aisle and right to the pharmacy in the back.
    My phone beeped in my pocket and I pulled it out.
    Eli:
Dude I’m getting worried. Call me.
    I cleared the