far from an
expert on the topic, but I was also fairly confident it was a bad
one.
Next I performed a
Valgus test, which was pretty similar to the Lachman test.
“Tell me if this
hurts,” I ordered, keeping Daniel’s knee bent slightly and applying
outward pressure on his leg.
“Yeah, fuck” Daniel
replied almost instantly, wincing.
“Sorry, I just had to
check. Do you know your ACL and MCL are both torn?”
Daniel grinned at me as
he sat up. “Yeah. Believe it or not, the Sea Lions’ payroll
involves more than seven figures a year being spent on doctors. At
that price, I would hope to hell they can diagnose that sort of
thing. But how come you know the Lachman and Valgus?”
“I used to be in
medical school. I finished pre-med, did a couple years of med
school, and while I was studying as an undergrad I volunteered at a
physiotherapy clinic. I didn’t really do more than organize charts
and get coffee, but once the doctor showed me how to perform the
tests.”
“You were in med
school? Wow, pretty and smart,” Daniel complimented, winking
at me as he said it. The blush crawled up my face again as I
remembered just how close my hands had been to his most sensitive
areas.
“Yeah, well, I never
finished. I’m not going to be a doctor, but I can tell a knee
injury when I see one.”
“Can I ask you a
sensitive question? You don’t need to answer if you’re not
comfortable with it, but I’d like to know why you’re here.”
“I’m an alcoholic,” I
answered. I had no problem telling him that. If he wanted to know
all he had to do was ask around, everybody knew alcohol was my
personal demon.
“What triggered it for
you? Again, don’t answer if you’re not comfortable with it, but I’d
really like to know if you’re willing to tell me.”
I looked into Daniel’s
eyes. They were so earnest, so genuinely interested in my life.
Suddenly, my brain flew backwards. Memories flooded my brain.
Crying, sitting in the ambulance, someone wrapping a blanket around
me. That feeling of absolute despair. The desire to kill myself.
Being unable to look my parents in the eye. The knowledge that my
life would never be the same.
It was three days later
that I walked past the liquor store and went in on a whim. I bought
a bottle of vodka. I had never been a huge drinker. I would get
drunk from time to time at parties, or with friends, but it was
never more than once every two weeks or so. Usually if I went out
for dinner with anyone I’d have a glass of wine or something, but
that was it.
It took three hours for
the entire bottle of vodka to disappear. That was how it started.
The more I drank, the more the memories disappeared. The more I
could pretend everything was like it had been before.
When I said I was
broken, I didn’t mean the alcoholism. That was just a symptom of
what had happened, of that night, the worst night of my life. The
alcohol made the pain go away for a while, and now, now that I no
longer had the alcohol, I begged for more pain. I deserved it
all.
I didn’t realize I was
crying until Daniel’s finger, like velvet against my skin, stroked
the tear away and brought me back to the present.
“I’m sorry,” he
whispered. “I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry Kylie. I can tell you
don’t want to talk about it, and that’s fine. But hey, if you ever
need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here” he told me, wrapping his arm
around me.
I was sweating and
gross, and so was he, but I couldn’t have cared less right then.
His arm was so strong, so hard, so comforting wrapped around my
shoulders, I felt like I belonged with him, I melded in with him
absolutely perfectly. I buried my face in his chest and cried for a
few minutes, silently sobbing, my tears mingling with his sweat
from earlier.
Daniel stroked my hair
until I finally came back from my complete collapse.
“I’m sorry,” I
apologized, wiping my eyes. “I have no idea why I just did that.
It’s been ages since I’ve just