agreeable, always attention-seeking and causing trouble. She was a most unpleasant child.”
Cassandra couldn’t stop herself, and the question was out of her mouth before she realised. “So why did you have me if Susan was so bad? Couldn’t I have turned out the same?” As soon as she had uttered the words, she knew she was letting herself in for disappointment. Her mother could so easily say she was.
Her mother took just a fraction too long in replying, and Cassandra guessed the answer before Daphne uttered it. “You came along unplanned. We were surprised, but we were pleased to have you, of course.”
Cassandra felt numb, and she had to force herself to carry on. “Did you ever find out where Susan lives now?”
Daphne’s brow puckered and her delicate nostrils flared. “No. Definitely not, and we don’t intend looking.”
Cassandra stared down at the floor before rubbing her eyes. “Why are you still so angry with Susan?” she eventually whispered.
Her mother cleared her throat while fiddling with her pearl necklace. “Because she hurt me and…and Daddy. She broke up the family with her lies. She left her home and family after being expelled from school twice, and losing a child is not something a parent can forgive or forget. Even with a ghastly child such as Susan. Now I’ve said all I’m going to say, and I don’t want this brought up again. And certainly do not involve your father. He won’t appreciate having this matter brought to his attention.”
Cassandra’s shoulders dropped; as she watched her mother sweep out of the room, she was mesmerised by her high heels tapping over the polished floorboards. She wandered over to the window and with unseeing eyes looked outside. As she focused, she saw that the garden was immaculate. Tall trees lined either side of the long swathe of deep-emerald grass, which was cut to a height of two and a half inches precisely. The flowerbeds were weed-free and bursting with specimen shrubs and plants. The gravelled drive on the left led to a handsome pair of wooden gates and fencing. Everything was perfect and nothing out of place. Disorder simply wasn’t allowed.
Inside, order was repeated: polished wood, expensive Persian and Turkish rugs and drapes, all matching and in perfect harmony. But it wasn’t a comfortable home. Cassandra was never allowed to leave a book unattended on the settee or forget to take her outdoor shoes off. She might have soiled the carpets, heaven forbid! Apart from her own room, she was never allowed to relax. She wished she had visited one of her friends for the holidays, but she had gone too many times in the past and knew she was in danger of outstaying her welcome. And there was no point in asking Mother if she could invite anyone back there. Daphne Potter always came up with a reason for the inconvenience. They were having the builders and decorators in; Daddy had some important deadlines to meet and needed the tranquillity of an ordered house—children were too noisy and distracting for him; Mother was too busy organising the annual fête. Cassandra had heard it all, over the years.
She hated it: the rules and regulations, subtle and almost sinister in their administration. Breakfast at seven-thirty, luncheon at twelve-thirty, afternoon tea at four, supper at seven (two courses only)—it was called dinner when they had guests and at least four courses were served. She loathed the sterility of the dining room: the long table with the snowy linen and eye-watering polished cut glass; the silver serving dishes with the finicky lids, which scared the life out of her, as she was terrified of dropping them. All served by the housekeeper or housemaid and under the watchful eye of Mother. The Lady of the House never lifted a finger to dust or vacuum the floors. The nearest Daphne Potter came to manual work was to lift a trug in the garden or push a shopping trolley around the supermarket.
Cassandra wasn’t surprised Susan and her