Of Being Yours[another way 2] Read Online Free PDF Page B

on Adele,” he muttered.
    I stood and stormed back inside without bothering to answer him.
    About an hour later, he found me vacuuming like I’d just heard the apocalypse was coming… due to dust bunnies.
    “I’m sorry,” he said, too loudly over the noise. I pretended not to hear him. “Look, Jesse, I know I was a dick, but please don’t ignore me.”
    I turned the vacuum cleaner off and glared at him.
    “I’m not good at begging,” he said sheepishly. “Or being on my knees. But I’ll do both if it helps.”
    I shook my head. “You’re an asshole.”
    “Yeah. I am.”
    “You had no right to say that about me. Leaving Adele was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I agonized over it for months , Will. Fuck, you were there. You watched it. And it fucking hurts when you throw that back in my face.”
    “Okay,” he said, holding up his hands. “But Jesse, you wanted that kid. I was not the only one who could see that. You were looking at him like he was a Diet Coke and you were dying of thirst.”
    “I was not,” I said.
    “You were too. I don’t care, but you could have told me yourself instead of letting someone else point it out to me.”
    I shook my head. “I was buzzed, okay? I was feeling self-conscious about wearing a dress and the kid was a nice ego boost. If we’d left it at that, I wouldn’t have minded.”
    “I know. But I thought it would be better to let you get it out of your system when I could be there too rather than….”
    He didn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t need to.
    “Rather than me sneaking off and doing it behind your back, is that what you mean?”
    “No.”
    My whole body tensed with frustration, and I wanted to just growl at him for being such a fucking idiot. “What happened to talking to me, Will? What happened to trusting me and fucking communication and making decisions about our life together? Isn’t that what partners are supposed to do?”
    He turned away from me and paced over to the window, then leaned on his hands on the light oak frame as he looked out at the street. I watched dispassionately as he rolled his shoulders, turned, walked back to me.
    “I was scared,” he admitted. “I’m only ever scared of one thing, and it’s losing you.”
    The desire to scream at him for being an absolute idiot was huge. Battling that, though, was the desire to hug him and whisper in his ear that he was being an absolute idiot, and I loved him regardless.
    Shaking my head and dropping the vacuum cleaner to the floor seemed like a reasonable compromise.
    “You do realize how stupid that sounds?” I said. “It’s a crap excuse. You’re one step away from ‘I locked my wife in the basement for fourteen years and didn’t let her leave because a guy checked out her tits at the supermarket.’”
    “Oh, shut up,” he muttered.
    The temptation to stomp out on him again washed through me. I felt proud of myself for resisting and, instead, slumped down into one of the armchairs. Eventually he sat down opposite me.
    “Are these insecurities that you had last night and didn’t tell me about, or just things that have started to bug you in the cold light of day?”
    My question, I thought, was a reasonable one. Will shrugged and didn’t look at me. When he did finally meet my eyes, his were full of remorse. I knew him well enough to recognize that.
    “Mostly from this morning,” he admitted.
    “Okay. Because you really did encourage me to pick him up last night.”
    “I know.”
    “I think this is life teaching us a lesson. We shouldn’t make decisions while half-drunk and horny.”
    He laughed and stood, crossed the room, and maneuvered himself into the chair with me, half on top of me with his legs dangling over the arm. Instinctively my arms wrapped around him.
    “You are very probably right.”
    “Of course I am. Just don’t… don’t use things like Adele against me when it’s actually your own insecurities at play. I don’t tell you