Odium II: The Dead Saga Read Online Free PDF

me and did kill Britta. In the end, I guess she got what she deserved when she was taken down by the dead. Still, my heart aches for all of them.
    It ’s by day five that it occurs to me that things might not be what I thought they were—a lightbulb being turned on in my puny little brain, kind of a halle-fuckin-lujah moment. As usual, Emily is sitting opposite me, watching every mouthful I take. I have questions to ask, reactions to garner, and I need to be sneaky about it.
    I take another forkful of my beans. “So, heard any good gossip lately?” I appear as uninterested as possible.
    Emily makes a noise and I glance up and catch the tail end of a shrug from her. “Nope.”
    “You must have something exciting to tell me. I ’m bored shitless in here on my own.”
    She shrugs again and I look back down at my food. “Heard from Mikey recently?” I look up with my eyes to watch her carefully, my stare darting to the guard and back to Emily. He turns to look at us, and I know I’ve piqued his interest, if nothing else. It pains me to ask about him, but I need to know what’s going on.
    She picks at her thin sweater and shrugs again. “No, I don’t see him.” Her eyes dart to mine, and it’s there—so small that I wonder if I’ve missed it before: a quirk at the corner of her eyes, a twitch almost.
    “Winter ’s coming.” I change the subject, sensing her discomfort.
    “Yeah, it ’ll be getting cold soon. We have to get through autumn first—not long to go, though. Not long before it happens. Winter, that is.” Her eyes catch mine again as she gathers my dishes. “Make sure to keep eating your food, keep your strength up. It’ll help keep you warm.” Her mouth twitches again, as if she’s refraining from smiling.
    “The food tastes like shit , though, Mom,” I sneer, pushing back from my chair, feeling lightheaded with a small revelation that I’m still trying to work out.
    “See you tomorrow, Nina.” She smiles at me and I watch her walk toward the door. The guard— Rick the Dick , as I’ve decided to name him—looks bored out of his mind, yet he’s definitely watching us closely. He unlocks it and lets her exit first, giving me one last look before he turns and exits himself.
    “See you tomorrow.” I fight the urge to ask her to stay for a bit longer. I know she can’t. Something else is happening here, something bigger than me. I know, big fucking surprise, right?
    *
    The leaves are turning golden browns and oranges and falling from the trees. I stare for what seems like hours, watching them drift lazily toward the ground and land at the feet of the children playing. I wonder whether any of the people out there know that I am here, or if they even care. Their life seems so far removed from mine it seems like madness.
    I watch, I wait, and I think.
    Watching, waiting, thinking.
    Watch, wait, think.
    Tick, tick, tock. There’s no clock in this room, and if there was one it wouldn’t be ticking anymore, its batteries long since dead, but the weird ticking noise in my head helps me think. Like a piano player with a metronome, it helps me to keep my beat. One question keeps playing across my mind, one question I can’t seem to land on an answer for.
    Why am I still alive?
    The heat of the days is still there, but the weeks are passing, and soon it will start to get cold. Autumn will pass and winter will come. I think of my last winter behind the walls—the things I had to do to keep warm—and a sadness creeps over me. I’m so glad to be away from there, away from Lee and his men; but those other people, the ones I condemned for being cowards, what did they have to do to keep themselves warm? To keep their children and wives warm at night?
    A tear slides down my cheek. For them, for me, for this godforsaken world.
    A scrape of the key in the door draws my attention away from my brain’s incessant ticking. Emily enters, her tray in hand as usual. I wipe my tears away as my stomach growls