Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You Read Online Free PDF

it’s easy. You can do it while getting a back rub at the Virgin flight lounge.
    The coolest kid in the anti-fracking movement is a guy named Josh Fox, who made a film called
Gasland
, a one-sided demagogic attack on fracking. It was later fact-checked by one of the real Free Radicals of our time, Phelim McAleer. McAleer is the guy who made the flick
FrackNation
, which counters the fearmongering of
Gasland
. But that’s not what makes it great. What makes it great is how it was made: with a crowd-funded campaign that gathered over two thousand contributors to help pay for it. Those who donated were nobodies whose average offering to the film (according to my good friend Wikipedia) was sixty bucks. How is that not cool? Isn’t that what a grassroots campaign is all about? If only the movie were about Noam Chomsky’s fitness routine. Then George Clooney would’ve funded the whole thing himself—just to make sure his European neighbors would like him.
    As I write this, experts are saying that fracking will now supplythe United States with centuries of domestic energy, making it a possibility that in our lifetime we may free ourselves from a dependency on foreign nutjobs who take our money while funding terrorists who want to kill us (no, not the BBC). Yet we have a legion of cool-driven, egomaniacal freaks who’d rather have us under the thumb of the Saudis than reaping the benefits of homemade fuel.
    Hell, if you’d rather not bomb Syria, and quietly excuse yourself from the riotous table that is the Middle East, isn’t the only appropriate solution to get up, go home, and frack the hell out of each other? You don’t even need a condom!
    John Sexton at Breitbart.com covered a special version of hell: a “celebrity bus tour” organized by Josh Fox through the town of Dimock, Pennsylvania, to raise awareness on the evils of fracking, as part of the Artists Against Fracking campaign. Aboard the bus: Yoko, Sean Lennon, and—making this bus truly talent-free—Susan Sarandon (which sort of makes her the Ringo of this particular tour, but whatever). Their goal was to fight against fracking’s “violence against nature,” as Arun Gandhi, the grandson of Mahatma, explained. And he hoped to get the media to buy into their war against usefulness. Gandhi told the friendly
Huffington Post
that fracking would “destroy us, destroy humanity.” This is the beauty of cool activism—no exaggeration is too overboard because outright lies and panic-stirring rhetoric only reflect the deep passion you have for the world. Did anyone mention to them that the bus they were on wasn’t being fueled by windmills? These people are so stupid that if you told them the bus was powered by unicorn farts and Pegasus feces, they’d buy stock in it (God knows they’re rich enough). When you lack truth, all that’s left is exaggeration. And having Yoko’s phonenumber on your cell? That’s got to make them feel special. Look what she did for the Beatles.
    Sexton explains that Artists Against Fracking (can we really call Sean Lennon an artist? What the hell has he painted lately? His toenails?) was created to lobby New York governor Andrew Cuomo to stop fracking in his state. They chose Dimock for their sorry publicity stunt because some families there had complained that their water was contaminated by fracking. Maybe it was. But, as Sexton points out, “The EPA tested wells in Dimock last year and in July issued a report stating that the water was safe to drink.” This is Obama’s EPA, mind you—an entity just left of the 1950s Politburo. But facts like that don’t matter when you
feel
. And it’s just not cool to change your mind—even if admitting you’re wrong could possibly benefit an entire country.
    While this tour got press, as did Matt Damon’s miserable failure of another anti-fracking movie called
Promised Land
, something else didn’t garner nearly as much attention—a leaked four-year study on the safety of fracking