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young bride at the Simplon her husband, then a captain, had challenged the Brazilian ambassador to a duel over a rose! . . . yes! . . . a black and purple rose! . . . that had fallen . . . on their balcony . . . from the ambassador's windows! . . . oh purpose! said her husband . . . no! . . . His Excellency protested . . . the affair had been smoothed over . . . thanks to the prince! . . .
    "Prince Metternich . . ."
    Madame von Dopf had more memories . . . many more . . . Achtung!  . . . Achtung!  . . . a siren wails . . . attention please! and man! a fanfare! . . . were they going to announce a victory? . . . impossible! for at least two years there'd been nothing but retreats . . . a separate peace with Russia? . . . possible . . . the loudspeaker was pretty far away . . . between the hotel and the rose garden . . . I listen . . . we listen . . . no, not a victory! . . . Achtung! Achtung!  . . . an attempt on Hitler's life! . . . all we needed!
    "They don't tell us if he's dead," says Madame von Dopf. And adds: "Fine kettle of fish if he's not."
    Nothing to be surprised about, reader. . . at the time of that assassination plot, events incidents and mumps were so hopelessly tangled that even today we're mostly reduced to parallel misunderstandings . . . contradictory conspiracies . . . the best way, I believe, is to think of a tapestry, top, bottom, and middle . . . with all the themes, objects, colors helter-skelter and upside down! . . . any attempt to set them before you fiat, standing, or recumbent would be a fraud . . . the truth is that after the attempted assassination there was no orderm anything . . .
    If they'd killed him, succeeded, there'd have been some order! ever since he came off alive, look where we're at! disorder forever!. . . so why shouldn't I be telling you about the Hotel Simplon, Baden-Baden, after the Stem in Sigmaringen . . . though we weren't there until much later! . . . try and get it straight! . . . time! space! I chronicle the best I can! . . . That's right! . . . painters and musicians do as they please! . . . and they're feted, showered with millions and honors . . . even movie actors and tennis players . . . should I, the historian, be forbidden to tack it together bassackward? . . . blighted forever? . . . Howling shame! . . . disgrace! . . . escaping in rags and tatters! . . . the pack at my heels! . . . hangings too good! . . . Greetings, Ladies and Gentlemen . . . the stakes are down? never mind! . . . cast off! get your bearings! . . . the wheel wobbles? . . . so what?! . . . the ball's gone nuts? . . . contrition! . . . foolishness! . . . all the fault of that half-assed plot! . . .
    Ah, Ladies and Gentlemen, naturally I didn't see anybody in that "garden of Paradise"! . . . on the benches or in the arbors! . . . they'd holed up, right after the first achtung! achtungs! at the bottom of the Simplon cellars . . . where nobody could see them or hear them! . . . but there at the swimming pool, nearby, the angry shouts redoubled! the ruckus! not only from the loudspeakers, no, the public! . . . the whole Simplon, staff and guests . . . they didn't give a shit about Adolf and the assassination plot . . . if they'd ripped him to pieces or not . . . "Your ass! Whore! Get yourself buggered! Jump in the drink! Bitch!"
    Somebody's ass! . . . a fat ass?. . . whose ass could it be? . . .
    "The Führer's dead!"
    "Stinker, who said so? Throw her in the drink! . . . asshole! unverschämt!  . . . raus! raus! throw her out!" . . .
    Sounded bad . . . then different people shouting . . . " 
    "Right to talk! . . . Boches! motherfuckers! insulting a lady!"
    "A lady? Throw her in the crapper! . . ."
    They haul off! Wham! . . . bam! . . .
    "A cocksucker . . . that's what she is!"
    From the rose garden we could hear it all . . . a free-for-all . . . for and against . . . but whose ass? . . .
    "Whore!"
    The whole valley echoed . . .
    "Beat it, you two-bit cunt!"
    A woman running away from the swimming