No Child of Mine Read Online Free PDF

and we never heard from her again.’
    In her pubescent state Alex became almost obsessed with her real mother. It was as though she could feel her beating through her heart, speaking to her on the wind, watching her from somewhere just out of sight. She could see her gazing back at her from the mirror, and sense her understanding the crazy thoughts that charged about her mind.She’d realised then why she wasn’t like the family she was with, especially when it came to religion. Not that she didn’t believe in God because in a way she did – He was definitely good in emergencies, in that there had to be something to hold on to when life had pulled up the ladder, whipped out the rug, or smashed all the dreams. And as far as she could tell He’d always had a big part to play in births, marriages, deaths and for old ladies who didn’t seem to have much else to do. However, she’d never been able to see Him in quite the same way as the rector did. Nor had Gabby, come to that, though she’d done a far better job of hiding it. And Alex wasn’t entirely sure that Myra had ever had that close a relationship with Him either, considering how mean she could be at times. Alex had never challenged her on it, however, mainly because she and Myra were already finding more than enough to row about by then.
    Though the rector had agreed to try and find her mother, sadly, frustratingly, his efforts had come to nothing; it was as though she’d vanished off the face of the earth. ‘She won’t be Angela Albescu any more, I’m sure,’ he’d said regretfully, ‘but I can’t find any trace of Angela Nicholls either, which was her maiden name.’
    Alex had never voiced the fear that her mother had gone to be with her father, and God knew she didn’t want to believe it, but in the job she did now she saw it all the time, women forgiving men for the most unthinkable atrocities.
    ‘She probably has a new family by now, a bit like you,’ Gabby had once suggested, trying to comfort her. ‘And if she has, maybe she doesn’t want you to find her. I mean, if she’s got other children and no one knows who she used to be – not that she did anything wrong, but you know what I’m saying ... Anyway, she probably won’t want anyone finding out about her past, and they’d have to if you turned up on the doorstep.’
    Though it had hurt Alex deeply when Gabby had said that, and still did in her bleaker moments, she had now come to accept that her mother, whoever and wherever she was, really had chosen not to be reunited with her. If she hadshe’d have made some kind of effort to find her by now, either through the police, or social services, or even the church. Maybe it would have helped if Alex had been able to add the name she’d been born with, Charlotte Albescu, to the register giving permission for birth parents to be in touch. However, this was impossible, as the fear always remained that her serial-killer father might come looking for her, instead of the mother she’d barely known.
    ‘Ah, there you are,’ Jason said, yawning as he came into the kitchen. ‘Are you OK?’
    Touched that he’d got up to find her, she said, ‘Yes, I’m fine,’ and giving a murmur of pleasure as he came to massage her shoulders she let her head fall back against him.
    ‘Please tell me you’re not still mad at me,’ he said, stooping to kiss her.
    Having forgotten their spat earlier, and the fact that she’d already been in bed and half asleep by the time he’d come home, she said, ‘No, of course I’m not, but you were late in.’
    ‘Would you believe, I fell asleep reading to the kids? That’s what comes of working hard. Anyway, tell me how it went this evening.’
    Switching her mind to the rehearsal, she said, ‘Yeah, pretty good. I think we stand a chance of everyone being line-perfect by opening night.’
    ‘Great,’ he approved, going to reheat the kettle. ‘So if you’re not worrying about that, what are you doing up at this