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her will, bequeathing her Stafford subjects with the things they so desperately needed. Not that any one of them willever be as great as me , she thought as she dug through her oversize bag in search of the notebook she’d been using for her will. Still, they could use all the help they could get.
    â€œWhere is it?” Kelly grumbled aloud as she pawed through the bag. With an irritated sigh, she dumped its entire contents—makeup bag, phone, wallet, organizer, books, notebooks, iPod, and other assorted items—on the bed. Her green notebook was not among them.
    I must have left it in my locker, Kelly thought, feeling annoyed. She was really in the mood to work on it. On the ride home she had come up with some really good stuff to add. She drummed her fingers on one of her textbooks. She could do homework, of course. Or she could just start over in a new notebook and make the will even better.
    Kelly grabbed a small spiral notebook and a pen and scooted back to the giant pile of pillows at the head of the bed.
    I, Kelly Reeves, being of clever mind and near-perfect body, bequeath to …
    First on the list was Alison Rose, her losercousin. Upon Kelly’s departure, Alison would receive the Diamonds—all of them except Christine, who would be busy with Kelly in Hollywood, anyway.
    â€œShe may even keep the actual gems she stole from my actual mother,” Kelly wrote, suddenly feeling generous. Alison would be stuck here quivering under Her Highness’s wing forever, while Kelly was living the high life in L.A. Kelly smiled as she turned the page in her journal. She would not be bequeathing Chad to Alison. She wasn’t feeling so generous as to give Alison the one thing of Kelly’s she really wanted.
    Kate Barta was the next to be reviewed. More than anything she needed a decent hairdresser… Those roots just had to go. So Kelly left her Serge’s services, cell number, and several bottles of Bumble and Bumble shampoo, conditioner, and surf spray. “Even that might not be enough,” Kelly murmured with a sympathetic sigh. “The girl needs help .”
    â€œAs does Ruby Sullivan,” Kelly said to her empty room, tapping her pen on her lower lip. But Ruby’s issues were actually more serious.Her hair was passable. What she needed were some serious lessons in subtlety. Her constant kissing-up was as blatant as it was irritating. Not to mention the fact that she laughed like a donkey. She basically couldn’t be taken anywhere in public—it was too embarrassing. Maybe Kelly should will her a cage.
    â€œSpeaking of embarrassing…” Kelly wrote down one more name in the notebook. Zoey Ramirez. She printed, “fire extinguisher” in block letters, then added two more things Zoey the pyro was in desperate need of: some taste, and a clue about how things worked. Not that it mattered, really. Zoey was a totally lost cause.
    Kelly closed the notebook and flopped back on her collection of cream-colored satin and faux-fur pillows. She hoped her recipients would be grateful for her charitable donations. It was the least she could do, really. They were going to be completely lost without her.
    Kelly was daydreaming about her life among the swaying palms when there was a knock on her door. A moment later her mother—well, Phoebe—stuck her head in.
    â€œWe’re going to dinner at your grandmother’shouse tonight,” Phoebe announced. “You need to be ready in an hour.”
    Kelly stared at her. She hadn’t set foot at Her Highness’s since the night the pool house blew up. She certainly wasn’t about to go there now that Alison had moved in. “I can’t,” Kelly objected. “I have too much homework to do.”
    â€œYou can do it when we get back,” her mother said, fiddling with the pearl necklace she almost always wore.
    â€œI have a huge project due tomorrow,” Kelly lied. “It’s