of his life he’d be haunted by having let a good thing go. I would definitely win the breakup. It was perfect.
The movie star interrupted my thoughts. “So, we should make a plan?”
I already had my plan, so I played flexible. “As long as it involves popcorn I’m good. I haven’t eaten all day.”
He looked worried. “There aren’t usually concessions at a premiere. I think they think it’s tacky.” I felt as tacky as the MIA concession stand. He must have noticed, because he smiled his big movie-star smile and said, “I think they should have popcorn too. I may even put it in my next contract!” He really was surprisingly sweet, this movie star. He continued, “There’s an after-party, but I don’t think I’m up for it—too many reporters. Would it be okay with you if we walk the red carpet, take a few pictures, and sneak out for dinner before it’s over?”
I was thrilled with this plan. “Perfect!”
But apparently Jeremy Madison was less in control of his life than even he knew. His publicist, Albert, had told his agent, Hank, that Jeremy was bringing a salesgirl, me, from Bloomingdale’s. Hank didn’t feel the overwhelming confidence that Albert did in Lillian’s matchmaking skills and panicked, leaking to the press that we were entering the theater through the back to avoid the red carpet. The press ran like cattle to the 55th Street door and the fans followed. We arrived to one newbie photographer from the AP who was too scared to leave his post on the red carpet. Unfortunately for everyone, he was so nervous that he shot on a used memory card and none of the pictures came out. His rookie mistake cost him his big shot at the front page and my big shot at sticking it to Flip. I guess people like me never get to make people like Flip Roberts feel less than.
Not yet knowing the unfortunate outcome of the photo, and with our stomachs rumbling, we snuck out midway through the movie. We got into the movie star’s limo and the small talk that started with him asking, “Where are you from?” ended with us in Queens, happily munching on tzatziki and spanikopita at my favorite Greek restaurant. It was the best date I had been on in ages, and somewhere between me telling him the big bad Flip story and him telling me about his parents’ heartbreaking divorce and what it’s really like to have no privacy, I began to wish that he wasn’t gay. He walked me home and thanked me by joking, “Bloomingdale’s really does have fantastic customer service!” and kissing me sweetly on the top of my head.
The next morning I searched the Internet every which way possible but did not come up with a single red-carpet photo. All I found was a photo of us from behind on one site, Radar Online. It looked like nothing more than a cell-phone picture of us escaping out the back, holding hands like the good fake couple we were supposed to be. The headline read “Gay or Straight?” and underneath,
“
Who is Jeremy Madison’s mystery girl?” I wanted to claim my place in celebrity history, to yell out, “It’s me, Natalie Canaras, third-floor dresses, Flip Roberts’s old girlfriend!” But instead I got on the R train, little black dress in hand, and headed back to work. After all that talk about privacy, I would never betray Jeremy like that.
I walked into work to quite a reception. Ruthie and Tomás were eager to hear all about my night but equally eager to get their hands on the size small Max Hammer dress. Apparently it really is
the
dress of the season—this was the only one left in that size at any Bloomingdale’s on the entire East Coast. The morning had been an eventful one, and my borrowed dress was at center stage. Ruthie told me the whole story.
CHAPTER 4
An Age-Old Old Age Story
By Ruthie, Third Floor Ladies’ Dresses
Age: A lady never tells
“ARTIE! Aaaaaaarrrrtttieeeeee!!!!” The screeching was coming from the ladies’ dressing room. After twenty years at Bloomingdale’s I’ve seen