matched pairs of lampposts wrapped in evergreen boughs and twinkle lights. The house loomed in front of us, equally decked out in Christmas cheer, every window lit up.
I glanced at Jason to gauge his impression, and I tried to imagine us coming here for many Christmases to come, maybe with a couple of kids in tow. If it was something I could picture, then maybe starting to think of marriage was the right thing to do.
“So this is where you grew up,” he said. “It’s—”
“Over the top, right? Too big for a family of three, let alone just my mom and dad rattling around in there. They should think of moving to a condo or something.”
“No. I was going to say it’s beautiful. Looks like a Christmas card.”
I looked again. It really did, especially now that snow had started to drift dow n in sparse flakes to cover the grass in white lace. An abrupt pang of nostalgia shot through me as a hundred holiday memories blossomed in my mind. The parties, the visiting relatives, my friends coming to stay, and bright Christmas mornings full of excitement—I’d allowed myself to forget the wonderful times and focus on the tension and arguments of my last few years at home. Life with my mom and dad hadn’t really been all that bad, and this visit wouldn’t be either.
Chapter Four
Jason
“Your cousin’s name is Chloe. Her husband is Worthy, and their boys are…” I paused, waiting for the pieces to click into place. “Gulliver and Haynes.”
“Yes , they are.” Anna shook her head. “They actually are. Those poor kids.”
“So, your cousin’s a little, uh, weird?” I looked at the front of the house, every window brightly lit. My mom would’ve had a fit about the electric bill.
“She’s nice enough, but we never had much in common. We hung out when our parents got together like cousins do. A forced friendship.”
“Oh yeah. I remember that.” I thought of my Connecticut relatives and a fight I’d once had with my cousin. I was grateful to even have the memory. It had taken some time for a picture of my old life to fall back in place after the accident. There were many pieces I was still gathering.
“All Chloe ever wanted to do was have weddings for our Barbies or play dress up and act out a wedding. No surprise she became a wedding planner. As for Gulliver and Haynes… She always wanted unique names for the kids she’d have someday. ”
“Guess she achieved two goals , then.” I laughed, and Anna did too. For a moment, things were normal between us, and we forgot the huge fucking elephant of a ring in the room.
Light spilled from the open front door as Anna’s mom and dad came out under the portico.
“Ready?” Anna squeezed my hand, and then we got out of the car and went to meet her parents, leaving Baby to steam up the windows with her frenzied barking until after the greetings were over.
We entered the warmth and spicy fragrance of a holiday wonderland. Christmas oozed out of every pore of the pine-bough -and-ribbon-draped house. The next few minutes were a blur of hand shaking, smiles, and small talk. Anna and her cousin exclaimed and hugged as if they were best friends who’d been parted. I remember saying how well the drive had gone, and I remember Mr. Stevens’s firm grip when he shook my hand and how he stared into my eyes with an intensity that made me want to shit my pants. Anna’s mom gave me an equally calculating look while she smiled and talked about the other relatives who’d be there for the holiday.
Meanwhile, the two little kids, both way younger than my twelve-year-old sister Katie, were running around the grown-ups, tagging each other and shouting. Their mother— Callie? —occasionally ordered them to stop, but they didn’t pay any attention. And here Anna’s mom was worried that our dog would be annoying.
One of the two boys stopped to stare at me. He had a toy spacecraft clutched in one hand , and he studied me and Anna as if we were aliens