Neverness Read Online Free PDF

toasted Soli's discovery. And all the while, our Lord Pilot stared at me as blood trickled from his broken nose down his hard lips and chin.
       "Your mother hates me, so there should be no surprise that you do too."
       "I'm sorry, Lord Pilot. I swear it was an accident. Here, use this to wipe your nose."
       I offered him my handkerchief, but he pretended not to see my outstretched hand. I shrugged my shoulders, and I crumpled the linen to sponge the blood out of my eye. "To the quest for the Elder Eddas," I said as I raised my tumbler. "You'll drink to that, won't you, Lord Pilot?"
       "What hope does a
journeyman
have of finding the Eddas?"
       "Tomorrow I'll be a pilot," I said. "I've as much a chance as any pilot."
       "Yes, chance. What chance does a young fool of a pilot have of discovering the secret of life? Where will you look? In some safe place, no doubt, where you've no chance of finding anything at all."
       "Perhaps I'll search where bitter and jaded master pilots are afraid to."
       The room grew so quiet that I heard the spatter of my uncle's blood-drops against the floor.
       "And where would that be?" he asked. "Beneath the folds of your mother's robes?"
       I wanted to hit him again. Tomoth and his brothers laughed as they slapped each other on the back, and I wanted to break my uncle's bleeding, arrogant face. I have always felt the hot pus of anger too keenly and quickly. I wondered if it
had
been an accident that I had hit him; perhaps it was my fate (or secret desire) to have hit him. I stood there on trembling legs staring at him as I wondered about chance and fate. The heat of the glowing fire was suddenly oppressive. My head was pounding with blood and skotch, and my eye felt like molten lava, and my tongue was like syrup as I made the worst mistake of my life. "No, Lord Pilot," I blurted out. "I'll journey beyond the Eta Carina nebula. I intend to penetrate and map the Solid State Entity!"
       "Don't joke with me."
       "I'm not joking. I don't like your kind of jokes; I'm not joking."
       "You
are
joking," he said as he stepped closer to me. "It's just the silly brag of a foolish journeyman pilot, isn't it?"
       Through the haze of my good eye, I saw that everyone, even the young bartender, was staring at me.
       "Of
course
it was a joke." Bardo's voice boomed as he farted. "Tell him it was a joke, Little Fellow, and let's leave."
       I looked into Soli's intense, fierce eyes and said, "I swear to you I'm not joking."
       He grabbed my forearm with his long fingers. "You swear it?"
       "Yes, Lord Pilot."
       "You'll swear it, formally?"
       I pulled away from him and said, "Yes, Lord Pilot."
       "Swear it, then. Say, 'I, Mallory Ringess, by the canons and vows of our order, in fulfillment of the Timekeeper's summons to quest, swear to my Lord Pilot I will map the pathways of the Solid State Entity! Swear it to me!"
       I swore the formal oath in a trembling voice as Bardo looked at me, plainly horrified. Soli called for our tumblers to be filled and announced, "To the quest for the Elder Eddas. Yes, my young fool of a pilot, we'll all drink to that!"
       I do not remember clearly what happened next. I think that there was much laughter and drinking of skotch and beer, as well as talk about the mystery, the joy and agony of life. I remember, dimly, Tomoth and Bardo weeping, locking wrists and trying to push each other's arm to the gleaming surface of the bar. It is true, I now know, that liquor obliterates and devours the memory. Bardo and I found other bars that night serving skotch and beer (and powerful amorgenics); we also found the Street of the Master Courtesans and beautiful Jacarandans who served our lust and pleasure. At least I think they did. Because it was my first time with a skilled woman - women - I knew very little of lust and pleasure, and I was to remember even less. I was so drunk that I even allowed a whore