Nemesis Read Online Free PDF Page B

happiness at being alone. There are many people who would like to be friendly and you would be happier if you allowed them to be. Aurinel is your friend.”
    “Was. He’s all busy these days with other people. Today that was obvious. It infuriated me. Imagine him getting all wrapped up because he was thinking about Dolorette.”
    Insigna said, “You can’t quite blame Aurinel, you know. Dolorette is his age.”
    “Physically,” said Marlene. “What a bubblehead.”
    “Physically counts a great deal at his age.”
    “He shows it. It makes a bubblehead out of him, too. The more he slobbers over Dolorette, the emptier his head gets. I can tell.”
    “But he’ll keep on getting older, Marlene, and when he’s a little older, he might find out what the really importantthings are. And you’ll be getting older, too, you know—”
    Marlene stared at Insigna quizzically. Then she said, “Come on, Mother. You don’t believe what you’re trying to imply. You don’t believe it for a minute.”
    Insigna flushed. It suddenly occurred to her that Marlene wasn’t guessing. She
knew
—but how did she know? Insigna had made her remark as sincerely as she could, had tried to
feel
it. But Marlene had seen through it without effort. It wasn’t the first time either. Insigna had begun to feel that Marlene weighed the inflections, the hesitations, the motions, and always knew what you didn’t want her to know. It must be this quality that made Insigna increasingly frightened of Marlene. You don’t want to be glass to another’s scornful glance.
    What had Insigna said, for instance, that had led Marlene to believe the Earth was doomed to destruction? That would have to be taken up and discussed.
    Insigna suddenly felt tired. If she couldn’t ever fool Marlene, why try? She said, “Well, let’s get down to it, dear. What is it you want?”
    Marlene said, “I see you really want to know, so I’ll tell you. I want to get away.”
    “Get away?” Insigna found herself unable to understand the simple words her daughter had used. “Where is there to get away to?”
    “Rotor isn’t all there is, Mother.”
    “Of course not. But it’s all there is within more than two light-years.”
    “No, Mother, that’s not so. Less than two thousand kilometers away is Erythro.”
    “That scarcely counts. You can’t live there.”
    “There
are
people living there.”
    “Yes, but under a Dome. A group of scientists and engineers live there because they are doing necessary scientific work. The Dome is much smaller than Rotor. If you feel cramped here, what will you feel there?”
    “There’s a whole world on Erythro outside the Dome. Someday people will spread out and live all over the planet.”
    “Maybe. It’s by no means a certain thing.”
    “I’m sure it is a certain thing.”
    “Even if it is, it would take centuries.”
    “But it has to begin. Why can’t I be part of the beginning?”
    “Marlene, you’re being ridiculous. You’ve got a very comfortable home here. When did all this start?”
    Marlene pressed her lips together, then said, “I’m not sure. A few months ago, but it’s getting worse. I just can’t stand it here on Rotor.”
    Insigna looked at her daughter, frowning. She thought: She feels she has lost Aurinel, she is heartbroken forever, she will leave and punish him by doing so. She will send herself into exile on a barren world, and he will be sorry—
    Yes, that line of thought was entirely possible. She remembered when she herself was fifteen. Hearts are so fragile then that a slight tap will crack them. Teenagers heal quickly, but no fifteen-year-old would or could believe that at the time. Fifteen! It is later,
later
that—
    No use thinking about it!
    She said, “What is it that attracts you about Erythro, Marlene?”
    “I’m not sure. It’s a large world. Isn’t it natural to want a large world”—she hesitated, before adding the last two words, but she gulped them out