Nanny Piggins and the Rival Ringmaster Read Online Free PDF

types of distinctively weddingy smells I could normally smell – the fear of the groom, the cooking sherry being secretly drunk by the vicar, or the gaffer tape holding the bride’s strapless dress up – are all masked by the mass of flowers in the bouquets and arrangements.’
    ‘Couldn’t you sniff for the flowers then?’ asked Derrick.
    ‘I could,’ agreed Nanny Piggins, ‘but flowers are actually quite common in flowerbeds as well. So we could find ourselves drawn into several wild goose chases. So I think the best tactic is to drive around looking for churches surrounded by deliriously happy people throwing rice.’
    ‘Are we going to eat the rice too?’ asked Michael.
    ‘No,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘For some reason they only throw uncooked rice at weddings. Although if you think about it, it would make sense to throw cooked rice, preferably something delicious like Thai special fried rice or a nice creamy rice pudding. That way the bride and groom would have something tonibble while they were getting their photos taken.’
    ‘There’s one!’ screamed Boris.
    ‘One what?!’ asked Nanny Piggins, slamming on the brakes of the car. ‘A dodo? If so, well spotted because I’ve always wanted to see one.’
    ‘No, better than that!’ said Boris. ‘A wedding!’
    Sure enough, up ahead was a church with guests pouring out to congratulate a very happy-looking bride and groom.
    ‘Excellent!’ exclaimed Nanny Piggins, getting out of the car. ‘Come along, children, we must give our best wishes to the lovely couple.’
    ‘Why?’ asked Derrick.
    ‘If we just turn up at the wedding and start scoffing cake, that will look suspicious,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘We must first establish our cover as invited guests.’ With that Nanny Piggins marched across the road, her arms spread wide, calling out, ‘My dears, you look breathtaking! I can’t wait to get to your reception to celebrate this happy union. Oh, and speaking of which, perhaps you could give me directions to the venue.’
    As usual Nanny Piggins was right. They did have a wonderful time at the wedding. Nanny Piggins delighted the other guests with her death-defying stories. She even acted them out (fortunately therewas a chandelier for her to swing on and a pair of replica seventeenth-century duelling swords on the wall she could fence with). Then, after the meal, she danced. And oh, what a dance! Suffice to say, the bride is lucky she married the groom earlier in the day, for if she had not, his head would have been quite turned by Nanny Piggins.
    Finally, the moment they had all been waiting for arrived – the cutting of the cake. Nanny Piggins insisted they use a seventeenth-century duelling sword, so they could cut really big pieces. And as soon as she, Boris and the children sank their teeth into their first bite, they knew it had all been worth it. There is something about weddings that brings out the best in people. It is the one day in their life when they say – ‘Go on, put another stick of butter in that cake mix’ and ‘Why stop at one? Let’s have two inches of creamy thick icing.’
    As a result, the cake was so good that after one bite you had to quickly take a drink, because there was so much sugar in the icing, the process of osmosis caused it to suck all the moisture out of your mouth. Nanny Piggins was in heaven. She stopped speaking altogether for a full two minutes and just made noises like, ‘Mmmmmm-mmmm’ and ‘Aaaaah-mmm’ as she ate.
    When they finally left the reception after saying goodbye to everyone and promising to come to the first anniversary party the following year, Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children returned home very satisfied.
    ‘What a wonderful day,’ declared Nanny Piggins.
    ‘It was good cake,’ agreed Derrick.
    ‘ Good is not the word,’ exclaimed Nanny Piggins. ‘It was divine . We’ll definitely have to do that again tomorrow.’
    ‘Tomorrow?!’ exclaimed Samantha.
    ‘Oh yes,’ said