My Single Friend Read Online Free PDF

in trouble,’ Henry says.
    ‘Just wait,’ I reply confidently.
    Fifty minutes later, Brian looks like a Levi’s 501 model with more chicks at his feet than The Fonz.
    ‘I admit it,’ says Henry as the credits roll. ‘That’s impressive.’
    ‘Told you. Oh dear.’
    ‘What?’ he asks.
    ‘The trifle’s gone.’
    ‘So it has.’
    ‘You must have eaten it all,’ I tell him.
    ‘I don’t think so.’
    ‘Henry, you must have,’ I say. ‘I can’t possibly have devoured half a chocolate trifle – I barely noticed it. Tell me I didn’t.’
    He smirks. ‘Course you didn’t, Lucy. I scoffed the lot. Apart from one or two modest spoonfuls for you.’
    ‘I thought so,’ I say, taking out my Diet World Nootrient Tracker and marking down two and a half points – a reasonable estimate, I think.
    When I put it down, Henry is gazing into space.
    ‘What’s up?’ I ask him.
    He shakes his head, snapping out of it. ‘Nothing.’
    ‘Come on, Henry. I’ve known you long enough to recognize when something’s up.’
    ‘Nothing’s up.’
    ‘ Henry . . .’
    He frowns. ‘It’s nothing really. Just . . .’
    ‘Just what ?’
    He pauses and stares at his hands. ‘You know the way I am with women?’
    I look at him, taken aback. ‘You mean . . . shy?’
    He nods. ‘It’s a pain in the arse.’
    I let out a little laugh, see his expression and stop. ‘Sorry. You were saying?’
    ‘Oh, forget it, honestly,’ he replies, waving his hand.
    ‘No, Henry – I’m sorry. Tell me what you were about to say.’
    He frowns for a second and takes a deep breath. ‘I’d like to have a girlfriend at some point.’ He squirms with embarrassment.
    Henry has had a relationship before, about five years ago. It was a kind of office romance – except he works in a laboratory, rather than an office. The point is, he spent ten months with Sharon from the Accounts Department before they drifted apart and she went to work in Cardiff.
    There was absolutely nothing wrong with Sharon. She was quiet, unassuming, plain but not unattractive. But, at the risk of sounding like an over-protective friend, she wasn’t good enough for him.
    I wanted to like her when we first met, to get to know her hidden depths. Unfortunately, and this will sound awful, I never found any. Sharon, God bless her, was as dull as they come.
    ‘I’m sure you’ll find someone one day, Henry,’ I tell him.
    ‘I’m not,’ he replies. ‘I’m a glass-half-full sort of person, but I’m also a realist. I’m starting to think it’s never going to happen.’
    I go to protest then stop, not wanting to interrupt him.
    ‘I’m hopeless with the opposite sex,’ he continues. ‘I don’t know why, but I am. Utterly hopeless.’
    I bite my lip. ‘Why do you think you find it so difficult to talk to women?’
    ‘I don’t know,’ he replies, looking genuinely bewildered.
    ‘I mean, I’m a woman, and you’re not nervous with me.’
    ‘You’re Lucy ,’ he tells me. ‘There’s a difference.’
    ‘ Touché .’
    ‘Maybe I’m aware I’m not much of a catch,’ he goes on. ‘I don’t look like any of those blokes in your magazines – Orlando Broom, or whatever his name is.’
    ‘ Bloom , Henry. Orlando Bloom .’
    ‘Yes – him. I know I don’t look like him. But then I already know that from a biological point of view, not everyone can look like him. Even accounting for evolutionary theories and survival of the fittest, the human race couldn’t exist if only a select few were to successfully procreate. In fact, every multi-celled organism, particularly mammals, has the capacity to find a mate.’
    ‘Which means?’
    He looks up at me. ‘Even duffers like me can get a girlfriend. In theory, at least.’
    ‘There you have it,’ I declare. ‘That’s your problem.’
    ‘What is?’
    ‘You think you’re a duffer, when you’re not.’
    ‘Your loyalty’s touching, Lucy, but the facts would indicate that I’m right.’
    I am about to