My Russian Nightmare Read Online Free PDF

getting the call about Sammy. It was hours before I left school for the hospital. How long is that? A day? More?
    “How long was I…” I worry about finishing the sentence and pause between bites. I don’t want to offend or anger him. I don’t want to give him a reason to “hurt” me. I search for a safe word that won’t imply that he’s the bad guy, even though we both know he is. “Sleeping?”
    “Two days. You’d come around every now and then. But after a short time, you’d just give in and collapse.”
    “Give in?” Shit, I have no recollection of anything after passing out in the van.
    “To the pills and shit they’ve been forcing down your throat.”
    “That at least explains the awful headache.”
    “I told you. No one raped you.” His eyes are locked on mine until he continues. Then they dart away as he looks off into the distance behind me. “They’d much prefer to see the fear and terror in your eyes as you beg them not to.”
    His words send a deep chill straight to my bones. I need to get away from him.
    “Is there a bathroom I can use?”
    He stares at me long and hard, like he’s contemplating my question. I don’t understand why, It’s not a hard one.
    He takes a deep breath. “Will you behave?”
    I nod.
    “Okay.”
    He releases my feet and offers me a hand to help me stand. I don’t take it. I can do it on my own. My legs are so weak and wobbly, they give up and I go right down. Instead of hitting the floor, strong arms catch me. I fight the urge to nuzzle my face against his hard chest and hold on to him. I shudder under his touch, and every muscle in my body is taut and tense until he lets go.
    Dima walks me to a corner of the room on the other side of the bed, the side my back was to. There is no door. It’s been removed or never put on to begin with. “If you need me, I’ll be right here,” he says, turning so that his back is to the door. Another windowless room. Nowhere to go from here, just back into the other room.
    Once I’m done, he leads me back to the bed.
    “Do you have to restrain me?”
    His eyes drop, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he doesn’t want to do this. “For now.”
    I accept that, because I don’t have any choice other than to accept it, and because there is a promise in his words. A promise that if I don’t try anything, I might be able to earn his trust enough to regain some of my freedom. And when someone gives you an inch, you reach for the yard.
    Baby steps.
    That’s what I need to take right now. Little, tiny baby steps.
    Once I’m back in bed, I pick up what’s left of the bagel and start eating again. He doesn’t say anything. Instead, Dima stands beside the bed and watches me intently. I feel his eyes burning through my skin. It’s like he’s branding me, claiming me for his own, and it makes my stomach tumble.
    I meet his dark brown eyes. It’s hard to breathe and I’m not sure why. I don’t know if this sudden tension and energy between us is a good thing or not. It’s just that no one has ever looked at me like that, like I’m all there is.
    If anyone has, I never noticed. And here, this man that I should despise with every beat of my heart just made it skip a beat.
    He takes a step back and I can breathe a little easier. I’m not sure what just happened. I didn’t feel threatened by him. Not at all. It was something else. Something I never felt from a guy before. It’s the feeling that he wants me. Really wants me, with his entire being.
    Dima’s still staring, and I have a hard time swallowing. The look on his face has changed with a little distance between us. His expression is blank again and I can’t read him at all.
    I convince myself that whatever I thought a moment ago is wrong. He’s the bad guy keeping me from my brother and holding me hostage. This isn’t a movie and he isn’t some hero in disguise, no matter how bad I want him to be.
    Dima pulls his phone from his pocket and lifts it to his