My Enemy, the Queen Read Online Free PDF

that he was handsomehich he undoubtedly wasonveys little. There are many handsome men but I have never found one who was possessed of his outstanding quality. I had seen him before at the coronation. It may be thought that it was love which made me see Robert Dudley thus; it may be that he bemused and bewitched me as he did so many womenven Elizabeth herselfut I did not always love him, and when I look far back and remember what happened in our last days together I shudder even now. Loving or hating Robert Dudley, one would have to admit that charismatic quality. Charism is defined as a free gift of grace and I can think of nothing better with which to describe him. He was born with that free gift of grace, and he knew it well.
    In the first place he was one of the tallest men I have ever seen and he emanated power. Power, I believe, is the very essence of attractiveness in men. At least it has always been so with me until I grew older. When I discussed lovers with my sistersnd I did frequently because I knew they would play a big part in my life said my lover would be a man who would command others; he would be rich and others would fear his wrathll except myself. He would fear mine. I realize that in describing the sort of lover I desired, I am in truth describing myself. I was always ambitiousot for temporal power. I never envied Elizabeth her crown, and I was glad that she had it because when the rivalry was strong between us I could prove that I could triumph over her without it. I wanted attention to be centered on me. I wanted to be irresistible to those who pleased me. I was at this time beginning to realize that I was a woman of deep sensual needs and that they would have to be satisfied.
    Robert Dudley, then, was the most attractive man I had ever seen. He was very darklmost to swarthiness, his hair growing thick and nearly black; his dark eyes were lively and gave the impression of seeing all; his nose was slightly hooked; his figure was that of an athlete, and he held himself like a king in the presence of a queen.
    I sensed the change his arrival created in Elizabeth. Her pale skin was tinged with pink.
    Tis Rob,she said, s we might have expected. So you come to us thus unannounced.The soft caress in her voice belied the sharpness of her words, and it was clear that the interruption was by no means unwelcome, clear too that she had forgotten my mother and me.
    She held out her beautiful white hand; he bowed as he took it and kissed it, keeping it while his eyes went to her face and by the smile they exchanged I could have sworn they were lovers.
    ear lady,he said, made haste to come to you.
    ome calamity?she replied. ome, tell me.
    ay,he replied, nly the desire to see you which would not be put aside.
    My mother hand was on my. shoulder, turning me towards the door. I looked back at the Queen. I had supposed I should wait for permission to retire.
    My mother shook her head as she inclined it towards the door. We went out together. The Queen had forgotten us; so had Robert Dudley.
    When the door had shut behind us, my mother said: hey say there would be a marriage between them but for the fact that he already has a wife.
    I kept thinking about them. I could not forget the handsome, elegant Robert Dudley and the manner in which he had looked at the Queen. I was piqued that he had not cast even one glance in my direction, and I promised myself that if he had I should have made him take a second. I kept seeing him in his white starched ruff, his padded hips, his doublet, his bombasted breeches, the diamond in one ear. I remembered the perfect shape of his legs in their close-fitting hose; he had been garterless because of the symmetry of his legs, which allowed him to dispense with articles so necessary to men less well equipped.
    The memory of that first meeting remained in my mind as something I had to avenge, because on that occasion when the triangle was formed neither of them gave a thought to Lettice Knollys