Mud and Gold Read Online Free PDF Page B

slid to the floor,
still cradling the bottle of yeast in her hands.
    Amy looked at the angry face glaring down at
her and watched it blur as tears of pain and bewilderment brimmed
in her eyes. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I only wanted to make you
something nice for your dinner.’
    Charlie’s enraged expression faltered.
‘That’s a poor excuse,’ he said gruffly. ‘Don’t wander off like
that again.’
    ‘I won’t.’
    ‘And for God’s sake stop bawling all the
time! I hardly touched you.’
    Amy dried her tears on her apron, then
carefully picked herself up, wincing from the pain in her shoulder
blades, and placed her borrowings on a shelf before putting the
kettle on to boil. She didn’t make herself a cup; instead she
busied herself at the bench while Charlie drank his tea. That way
he would not see the tears that kept welling up afresh.
    When she heard the back door close behind
him Amy poured herself some tea and sat down at the table. Her head
was beginning to throb from being banged against the wall, and
every movement made it hurt more. I can’t please him. Whatever I
try just seems to annoy him. All these rules that I don’t know
about until I break them, then he hits me. What if it keeps getting
worse? What if I can’t bear it? Her father’s house, such a
short run across the paddocks, made an enticing picture. What would
happen if she just took to her heels and ran home? Pa wouldn’t
make me come back here, not if I told him Charlie hit me. I’d still
be married—I wonder if it would still count as making me
respectable if I didn’t live here .
    She took a gulp of the hot tea, hardly
noticing as it scalded her mouth. I can’t do that. Charlie would
want to divorce me or something, and it would be a terrible
scandal. Anyway, I belong to Charlie now, and if he said he wanted
me Pa would have to give me back to him. Pa would be really upset
then . She replaced the cup on its saucer, spilling a little as
her hand shook. All those people who wanted me to back out of
it, and I was so sure I could bear it. Can I?
    Amy picked up the spoon Charlie had left
beside his cup and stirred her tea, quite unnecessarily as there
was no sugar in it. I’ll just have to bear it. There’s no use
being miserable. Things are awful, but they might get better when I
get more used to them. It’s always worst when it’s the first time.
Last night wasn’t as bad as the first time—well, he only did it
once instead of twice, so that was better, anyway. And I was so
tired that I went to sleep as soon as he finished. He only hits me
when I annoy him, so when I learn all the rules that won’t happen
any more. And he was right to be annoyed with me about going home.
I used to be allowed to go wherever I wanted, and I did sneak off
and do bad things with Jimmy. No wonder Charlie doesn’t trust me. I
don’t deserve to be trusted . New tears welled up. I hope I
can learn to be good. I hope he won’t hit me too much.
    Charlie ate a generous share of the
golden-crusted apple pie without comment, but Amy was sure he had
enjoyed it. While he was still lingering over his second cup of
tea, she took the largest basin the kitchen held and put it on the
table. She measured flour into it along with a little sugar and
salt before carefully pouring in yeast from her borrowed bottle.
Charlie watched as Amy stirred in some lukewarm water and started
working the mixture.
    ‘Are you making bread?’ he asked.
    ‘Yes.’ Amy shot a sideways look at him, and
was gratified to see interest in his face. ‘I’ll bake it in the
morning, then you can have some nice and fresh for breakfast.’
    Amy got up next morning as soon as Charlie
had dressed and left the room. Her dough had risen beautifully
overnight. She gave it a good, long kneading and filled two loaf
pans. The loaves had risen and were ready for baking by the time
she had the range cleaned and heated and had gathered fresh eggs.
By the time Charlie came in for his