Mrs. Kaplan and the Matzoh Ball of Death Read Online Free PDF Page B
Author: Mark Reutlinger
such a nice way, but I couldn’t help but get the feeling that he didn’t mean it in a nice way at all, and what he really expected was for Mrs. K to think that she had been found out and to confess that she stole Daisy’s earrings and caused Mrs. Finkelstein’s death. And it gave me such a chill in my bones that even the nice cup of tea we had immediately after leaving Pupik’s office couldn’t take it away.
10
We did not talk about earrings or detectives or Mrs. Finkelstein the rest of the day. In fact, we avoided the subject entirely and tried to act as though nothing as strange and disturbing as this had happened.
So we were sitting in the lounge and sipping tea, and on the sofa next to us sat Mr. Sol Lipman. Sol, whom Mrs. K and I know quite well, is a man of about seventy-five years, short and stocky with short gray hair. For his age (which, after all, is about my age also) he is always looking very healthy, like an athlete who has kept himself in good condition. An attractive man, is Sol Lipman.
But that day he was not looking so healthy. In fact, he was looking as if he was in some distress, with his head in his hands, staring down at the carpet. Since there was nothing of particular interest to see in the carpet, this was not a good sign. Naturally Mrs. K and I noticed, and Mrs. K went over and sat down next to Sol. I slid over to listen. Mrs. K gently asked, “Is there something wrong, Sol?”
He looked up, and when he saw Mrs. K he straightened himself and tried to look normal. He said, “Why do you ask?”
“Because you are looking like your pet dog has just been run over, and I know you do not have a dog, so it must be something else. I do not want to pry, I just wondered if it is something with which I can help.”
Sol pondered this for a minute before answering, “Thank you, Rose. It’s Lily. She has locked herself in our bathroom and will not come out.”
Lily is Sol’s wife. (Who else would be locked in his bathroom?) They share a large apartment here at the Home, with two bedrooms and even a nice kitchen. Lily is not at all like Sol. In fact, it is an example of what they say about the attracting of opposites. Lily is tall and thin, and it is likely that the most athletic thing she has ever done is to shuffle the cards for bridge, which she and Sol frequently play. Sol is usually calm and quiet; Lily tends to be quite excitable, like one of those little dogs that is all the time barking. And yet they have been married for almost fifty years! Go figure.
Mrs. K did not seem surprised to learn that Lily had locked herself in the bathroom. In fact, her response was simply, “What, again?”
“Oh, so you remember the last time?” said Sol.
“Not only do I remember,” Mrs. K said, “but it was Daisy Goldfarb and I who talked her out of the bathroom. She had become hysterical over…what was it? Something you had said to her?”
“In a way, I guess,” Sol said. “I had asked her why she so often makes meat loaf for dinner on those days when we do not eat in the dining room, why she does not try something new, like maybe a Mexican or Italian dish. She took it as a comment against her cooking—‘What, you don’t like my meat loaf?’—although that was not what I meant at all, just that a little variety would be nice.”
“Some people take everything so personally,” Mrs. K said, shaking her head.
“Lily always seems to,” Sol said. “She certainly did that time. Pretty soon she was crying and had locked herself in the bathroom, telling me to go get myself another wife if I didn’t like her cooking!
Oy,
what a
tummel
!”
“Yes, and it was not easy to calm her down, although we finally did. I cannot recall exactly what we said to her.”
“Too bad,” Sol said, “because she is in there again, and nothing I say is helping at all.”
“So what was the cause this time? You did not mention her meat loaf again, I hope.”
“No, no, nothing like that. In fact, after
10
We did not talk about earrings or detectives or Mrs. Finkelstein the rest of the day. In fact, we avoided the subject entirely and tried to act as though nothing as strange and disturbing as this had happened.
So we were sitting in the lounge and sipping tea, and on the sofa next to us sat Mr. Sol Lipman. Sol, whom Mrs. K and I know quite well, is a man of about seventy-five years, short and stocky with short gray hair. For his age (which, after all, is about my age also) he is always looking very healthy, like an athlete who has kept himself in good condition. An attractive man, is Sol Lipman.
But that day he was not looking so healthy. In fact, he was looking as if he was in some distress, with his head in his hands, staring down at the carpet. Since there was nothing of particular interest to see in the carpet, this was not a good sign. Naturally Mrs. K and I noticed, and Mrs. K went over and sat down next to Sol. I slid over to listen. Mrs. K gently asked, “Is there something wrong, Sol?”
He looked up, and when he saw Mrs. K he straightened himself and tried to look normal. He said, “Why do you ask?”
“Because you are looking like your pet dog has just been run over, and I know you do not have a dog, so it must be something else. I do not want to pry, I just wondered if it is something with which I can help.”
Sol pondered this for a minute before answering, “Thank you, Rose. It’s Lily. She has locked herself in our bathroom and will not come out.”
Lily is Sol’s wife. (Who else would be locked in his bathroom?) They share a large apartment here at the Home, with two bedrooms and even a nice kitchen. Lily is not at all like Sol. In fact, it is an example of what they say about the attracting of opposites. Lily is tall and thin, and it is likely that the most athletic thing she has ever done is to shuffle the cards for bridge, which she and Sol frequently play. Sol is usually calm and quiet; Lily tends to be quite excitable, like one of those little dogs that is all the time barking. And yet they have been married for almost fifty years! Go figure.
Mrs. K did not seem surprised to learn that Lily had locked herself in the bathroom. In fact, her response was simply, “What, again?”
“Oh, so you remember the last time?” said Sol.
“Not only do I remember,” Mrs. K said, “but it was Daisy Goldfarb and I who talked her out of the bathroom. She had become hysterical over…what was it? Something you had said to her?”
“In a way, I guess,” Sol said. “I had asked her why she so often makes meat loaf for dinner on those days when we do not eat in the dining room, why she does not try something new, like maybe a Mexican or Italian dish. She took it as a comment against her cooking—‘What, you don’t like my meat loaf?’—although that was not what I meant at all, just that a little variety would be nice.”
“Some people take everything so personally,” Mrs. K said, shaking her head.
“Lily always seems to,” Sol said. “She certainly did that time. Pretty soon she was crying and had locked herself in the bathroom, telling me to go get myself another wife if I didn’t like her cooking!
Oy,
what a
tummel
!”
“Yes, and it was not easy to calm her down, although we finally did. I cannot recall exactly what we said to her.”
“Too bad,” Sol said, “because she is in there again, and nothing I say is helping at all.”
“So what was the cause this time? You did not mention her meat loaf again, I hope.”
“No, no, nothing like that. In fact, after