Mr. Jaguar
well?” The guy passed Mike three bottles of red wine, his face only one shade lighter than the alcohol.
    “My boyfriend’s just kidding.” Mike gently poked James with a bottle. “He’s such a funny guy. And has a great ass as well. Has your wife ever agreed to anal? You should try it.”
    James felt his knees go soft, all his senses telling him it was high time to turn around, get into the Jag and drive cross-country to never ever meet any of the people who could possibly hear this. He pinched Mike’s finger. Hard. Classy, my ass… wait, that didn’t come out right. Fuck. James looked at the floor and followed the directions of his therapist. He was on a sunny beach, and all he could hear was the breeze and seagull screams.
    “Shut your fucking face or I’ll tell our dad all about this, and you’ll be sorry,” the guy said.
    “You think I care? The old man can go fuck himself.” Mike hugged both the bottles and James closer. “I’m going to Vegas.”
    “Good. Just where a freak show like you belongs,” the man snarled.
    Even with the wine in hand, Mike managed to show his brother the middle finger. “Enjoy your life without anal, Kevin.” Mike turned around and pulled James along to the registers.
    No seagull would be enough to protect James’s mind from that. He let out a shuddery breath. “If you use this word in public ever again, I am going to kill you. I’m gonna tell my birds to chop you to pieces.”
    Mike looked to him and pushed his sunglasses up to his forehead. “Which one? ‘Fuck’?”
    James stared at him, for a moment unable to voice his thoughts. “‘Anal’, you idiot. I don’t want anyone to think about my ass that way… I mean… not straight people,” he added after a moment of hesitation.
    “You don’t like anal?” Mike frowned. “That’s too bad.”
    “I do, but that’s not the point!” hissed James, simmering in his own shame. “I don’t want you to talk about it to… people.”
    “I’ll be like a Disney princess, talking about your ass only to animals.” Mike grinned as they approached the registers. “Can I do you later?”
    James drowned in the thick mixture of embarrassment and excitement. It rushed through his body like a river after breaking the floodgates. He didn’t know what to say. He had no idea what he was even thinking. His life was spiraling into madness.
    “I bought you wine after all.” Mike winked at him and put the bottles in front of the cashier. He let go of James, who wasn’t even sure if Mike was serious anymore. Should he just play along? He wasn’t all that sure if he could keep up with that filthy mouth. He stepped past the registers and looked through the window, to his car, which was now shinier than ever. He had to admit Mike did a good job.
    As soon as Mike had spent almost all of the money he’d earned jerking off, he put that big, hot hand on James’s hip and gently nudged him to the door. James wasn’t the type of guy who hooked up with random hot guys, but the gesture still made him feel all melty inside. Would they actually do it ? He wasn’t sure it was a good idea. What if Mike just wanted him for the money? He did seem awfully happy to show off and spend it all.
    “Whoa, that’s some chill I’m getting,” Mike muttered and pulled his hand away when they got to the car.
    “What?” James blinked and looked at him, stuffing his hands down his pockets. Within a single hour, he’d fallen into an alternative universe. That was the only plausible explanation for what was happening to him. At least Mike’s dad was nowhere to be seen.
    “I don’t even deserve an answer, just a sneer?” Mike sighed and got into the passenger seat as soon as James opened the car.
    “What are you talking about?” James sat down next to him. “It’s you who was talking about my ass in public.” He looked the other way.
    “But then I asked you when we were alone again.”
    James clasped his hands together, his whole body
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