Moon Flower Read Online Free PDF Page B

Stellar Dynamics, or Milicorp Transnational just across the Bay? Or there’s a whole bunch of them up the coast around Portland.”
    “Space engineering. Mercenary warfare contractors....”
    “Sure. What of it?”
    Shearer sighed, straightened up, and moved into the room. Fay stiffened, but he turned to sit back against the vanity, one foot on the floor. “That’s not being a physicist; it’s being a whore. To fit in means you conform. You see only what you’re supposed to see, even when you know there’s something wrong. Reality becomes whatever the guy who’s paying wants.” He shook his head. “No, that isn’t what I call being free.”
    “It’s being paid something decent for what you know !” Fay closed the catches with a couple of fierce swipes. “Don’t you have any self-respect, any pride?”
    “Maybe a little too much. So I could help them make better molecular disruptor beams. Can you imagine what it’s like to be fried slowly from the inside? That’s what human beings in other places are paying so that people can live the way you want . Does knowing that still make it worth it to you?”
    Fay lifted the suitcase onto its side and collected the other items together, grasping the bags with one hand and draping the garments over her forearm. She looked at him scornfully, her other hand resting on the handle of the case. “All I know is that I can’t deal with all of the world’s problems. It’s the way life has always been. That’s the real reality that you’ve never been willing to face, Marc. Or couldn’t. To win, you’ve got to be a player. But you just won’t, will you? You don’t even get in the game.” She lifted the case off the bed and paused to check around for anything she might have missed. “And don’t start giving me the line about cooperating instead of competing, and the world not having to be this way, because I’ve had it up to the ears. It’s never going to change, and you won’t. So...” She let it trail away and shrugged “So that’s it. It’s over. Have a nice life.”
    Even as she moved toward the door, her manner seemed to be saying that if he’d only show her she was wrong by asserting himself enough to stop her, maybe it could be different. But he couldn’t. It would never be any different, and he would have been acting a lie. All the same, he couldn’t hold back a stab of bitterness.
    “So where are you going? Found yourself some starter husband material with a cool pad and the right wheels?”
    Fay sighed wearily in a way that asked if this was necessary. Inwardly, Shearer was already regretting his words. “No, I’m moving in with a girlfriend until I get myself straightened out. Okay? But at least it’s inside some walls and has guards with guns on the gates.” She crossed the living room to the outer door, which Shearer had left open. As she disappeared through it she tossed back over her shoulder, “And no, don’t ask me where. That isn’t your concern anymore.”
    Shearer listened to her bumping her way down the stairs, then moved over to the window and watched her emerge into view below. The driver in the cloth cap came around, opened the near-side rear door, and helped her load the things in with the rest. Fay climbed into the second-row seat, and the driver returned to the front. Shearer heard the car’s engine start. The lights came on, and moments later it pulled out and moved away along the street. He went through the living room to close the door, then came back to the kitchenette and filled the kettle to heat some water for coffee. The place looked bare without Fay’s pictures on the walls and a lot of familiar ornaments and knick knacks gone from the shelves and worktops. An odd numbness seemed to have come over him, making him unable to decide quite how he felt.... For the time being, anyway. All that would come later. But already he knew deep down that it was best this way.
    He turned to the refrigerator and opened it to