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Shirley was still cheerful.
    Miriam changed the subject to the one they both dreaded. “You still need to tell Mamm and Daett about this Jonas Beachy business. And it must be tonight before it goes any further.”
    Shirley was silent, her mood now subdued.
    Miriam couldn’t help but think of what lay ahead. Mamm would likely forget all about the job her eldest daughter had just acquired. There would be dark thoughts and weariness on her heart tonight, to say nothing of how Daett would feel. The day had begun with heavy sorrow and, except for momentary joy at getting a job, showed no change anytime soon.

Chapter Five

    O nce they arrived back home, Shirley climbed down to help unhitch Mindy from the buggy. She undid the tugs on her side and held the shafts while Miriam led Mindy forward. Neither girl spoke; each one was lost in her own thoughts. When Miriam disappeared into the barn with Mindy, Shirley waited. She knew she should return to the house to help Mamm with the household work, but she was nervous. Why had she spilled her secret to Miriam? Shirley tossed her head. There had been the guilt, of course. But now she had a bigger problem. Miriam wouldn’t rest until Mamm and Daett were told.
    Shirley sighed. Why couldn’t she leave Jonas Beachy alone? She wanted to, and yet she didn’t. She kept promising herself she’d turn up her nose the next time he walked by, but she never did. The truth was, she hadn’t told Miriam all there was to tell. For several weeks now she’d been meeting Jonas on her trips to Berlin. Even now her heart beat faster at the thought of his attention.She’d always been comfortable around boys, often exchanging smiles and jokes with them. One day one of them would ask her home from a Sunday night hymn singing—once her rumspringa was over. But how she’d respond, she still hadn’t decided. This was the normal way a man and a woman conducted themselves. Mamm said this was how the Lord led a young couple to fall in love and eventually share the sacred vows of marriage with each other. Marriage suitors in Mamm and Daett ’s eyes did not include the likes of Jonas Beachy. That must be where her guilt was coming from. And she did want to be a decent woman in the faith, Shirley told herself. She just couldn’t resist Jonas. Really, what girl could? Maybe Miriam. But I’m not Miriam, Shirley thought. Would it do any good to make stronger promises to herself? Maybe that was the reason she’d told Miriam—so her sister would help her? But Miriam planned to do what the responsible child was supposed to do—report the matter to Mamm . Everyone would find out now. Shirley decided she should have gone straight to Mamm to begin with, but she’d been afraid Mamm might overreact. With Miriam in the middle as mediator, there was a much greater chance of resolution without regrets on either side. This was what lay behind her maneuvers, Shirley figured. She glanced toward the barn as Miriam came out. Shirley smiled slightly. “We’d best get this over with, don’t you think?”
    Miriam didn’t answer but led the way back to the house. Mamm met them at the door with a worried look. “Didn’t you get the job?”
    â€œI got the job,” Miriam said as she entered the house. “But something else has come up.”
    â€œSomething serious?” Mamm ’s face went pale, and she found the rocker and sat down.
    If I had more wisdom, Shirley thought, I would have waitedlonger before bringing this up. It had been a traumatic day already for Mamm . But tomorrow was Tuesday again. She might see Jonas—and if she didn’t do something soon, she’d agree to meet with him on the sly or otherwise. Her attraction to the man was almost scary. Had she fallen in love? Was this what love felt like? This out-of-control feeling? This breathless longing to see him again? At first she thought her attraction