Merely a Madness Read Online Free PDF

his eyes, stares at nothing more than the floor in front of him. Earthlings open gates for them as they go, until they reach a final set of double-barred gates.
    Behind the gates, groups of people huddle together in what appears to be the prison cafeteria, and they all have the same what the hell just happened? look on their faces that Mullen knows is plastered on his own.
    Rotten-nose pokes him in the back with his gun again. Mullen really wishes he would stop doing that. He shuffles into the cafeteria.
    Hannah doesn't follow. Mullen turns to see her smiling at Arnou as if she hadn't seen the man shoot two people in the face not two hours earlier.
    'You too,' Arnou says.
    'But—'
    'It's just for now,' Arnou says. 'You'll be safer. Be patient.'Mullen walks forward and finds a spot where he can slide down against the wall, and shut his eyes hard.
    Hannah's saying his name. He opens his eyes. He shakes his head over and over again, like he's a dog shaking after a swim. Not listening.
    He's about to put his fingers in his ears and sing loudly as if he were a child, but fortunately she just gives him a sad look and falls silent.
    Mullen takes in two shuddering breaths, and somehow, miraculously, that does the trick. Everything floats away. Every sinking feeling. Every thought. He feels hollow, as if his insides have been scooped away, leaving nothing but empty space. It's not going to take much for him to tear apart completely and disintegrate into the wind blowing through the barred window opposite.
    He concentrates on the ceiling. Despite the brick and a recent coat of paint, the damp has come through here too. It is blossoming on the ceiling – a pretty pattern of brown concentric circles against the white, and he thinks it's the loveliest thing he's seen since he's arrived, except Hannah of course. But he's not thinking about Hannah.
    Instead, he stares out of the window and watches the smoke curl and swirl against the sky in imitation of the revellers below.

4.
    In the morning, his brain is functioning again, even if he wishes it wasn't. Hannah is asleep, slumped next to him, and drooling onto his shoulder. It feels so normal and so natural that he has no idea when she curled up next to him during the night, or when he sank his head onto the top of hers, or when he leaned over and tucked his hand into the curve of her waist under her jacket.
    For a fleeting moment, before reality can intrude, he sinks in closer and breathes in the scent of her hair. But it smells like the mud and damp of this place.
    His mind wants to take flight again, but he refuses to let it. Mullen untangles himself. Hannah murmurs something, but doesn't wake. Mullen's attention is drawn to the sound that woke him; the Earthling guard has unlocked the gate to let three of the brutes inside. Two hold a large bucket between them. The other follows with a box.
    It's only when the box is upended onto one of the cafeteria tables, and spoons and plastic plates topple out, that Mullen realises that the reeking bucket is meant to contain food.
    He hasn't eaten in over a day. He knows he is hungry because his stomach hurts. Still, the last thing he feels like doing is eating. Even proper food. And whatever is in the bucket, it isn't proper food.
    Eat something, the sensible part of his brain says. Who knows when there'll be more? You need your strength. Somehow, he can't bring himself to care. He stays where he is.
    His eyes scan the room, stopping on a group of familiar figures huddled in the far corner: the remaining Kozlows and The Boy Whose Brother Was Shot In The Head.
    The Kozlows are asleep. The Boy is awake. His eyes meet Mullen's, and Mullen realises immediately that The Boy knows his brother is dead. It is as much the misery in The Boy's eyes, as it is the way he's huddled up against Mrs Kozlow – as though he were ten years younger and clinging to the only adult he can find. Mullen feels a small, guilty flicker of relief that he doesn't have to be