Mercy Read Online Free PDF Page B

mouth because I would bite down to stop from talking
    back and I would press m y fingernails into m y palms so bad
    they would bleed and I had sores all over m y hands so I bit m y
    nails to keep the sores from coming. Y ou had to do what
    adults said no matter what even if you didn’t know them or
    they were creeps or very bad people. The man was an adult.
    He w asn’t so mean as m y uncle in how he talked, he talked
    nicer and quieter. I was sitting there, acting grow n up,
    wearing m y black bermuda shorts. Outside it was hot and
    inside it was cold from air-conditioning. I liked the cold inside.
    O ur house was hot and the city was hot but the movie was nice
    and cold and the sweat dried on you and I liked how amazing it
    felt. The man sat down next to me. There were a million empty

    seats and the theater was like a huge, dark castle, but he
    sat down right next to me, on m y left. The whole big theater
    was empty. The usher was a teenager but I didn’t think he was
    cute. He had a light blue uniform and a flashlight. He showed
    me to my seat. He wanted it in the middle but I kept wanting
    to go closer to the screen. I sat down in front where I’m not
    allowed with my parents because they think it’s too close but I
    like it because then the movie is big and it seems like the people
    are giants and you forget everything looking at them. The
    theater was so big and the ceiling was so high and you could
    get lost in it except that the seats were all in rows. The theater
    was dark but not completely dark. There was dim light but
    not enough light really to see in or to read my book in. I had a
    book stuffed in my pocket. I always carried a book. I liked to
    read whenever I could. Y ou could read almost anywhere but
    there wasn’t enough light even for me so I had to sit and wait
    for the lights to go down all the w ay and the movie to start. I
    crossed m y legs because I thought it was sophisticated. I
    crossed them one way, then the other way. I opened the top
    buttons on my blouse because I was alone now and I could do
    what I wanted. The man sat down and the usher wasn’t there
    because I tried to look but I didn’t want to insult the man by
    acting like anything was wrong. I didn’t understand w hy he
    had to sit there and I wished he wouldn’t but you had to be nice
    to people who sat next to you in a bus or in a synagogue or
    anywhere and I wanted to move but he hadn’t done anything
    bad and I knew it would be an insult to him and I didn’t think I
    was better than other people. He said some things to me and I
    tried to look straight ahead and I tried to be polite and not talk
    to him at the same time and I tried to ask him to leave me alone
    but not to be rude because he was an adult and it wasn’t right to
    be mean anyway. I didn’t understand what was w rong
    because people sit next to people all the time but I thought he
    could move over one seat and not be right next to me but I

    didn’t know how to say he should m ove over w ith o u t. it
    seeming like I was mean or thought he was dirty or poor or
    something bad. He said things and I said yes or no or I don’t
    know or I don’t think so and kept looking ahead to show I
    w asn’t interested in talking and had other things on m y mind
    and he told me I was pretty and grow n up and I said I was ju st a
    child really and I had never been to the m ovies before m yself
    and m y mother was waiting for me and I wanted to watch the
    m ovie but when someone says yo u ’re pretty you have to say
    thank you. Then the lights went o ff and it was really dark and
    the room was dark and big, an enormous cave o f darkness, and
    I felt buried alive in it as if it wasn’t good and then the light
    started flickering across things from the screen and the man
    put his arm around m y shoulder and I asked him not to touch
    me but I was very polite because I thought he was just being a
    friendly person because people only touched you if they were
    your friends or