into the sky. The ball of fire seemed to settle on the ground, but then my mother and I watched as it rose up on the current of the wind, floating straight for us. I felt my mother release me, and then all at once she threw her arms into the fire to scatter it. For a moment we were both awash in sparks and flames; but then the shreds of fire drifted into the trees and burned out, and no oneânot even my motherâwas hurt.
*Â Â *Â Â *
A week or so later, when my fantasies of adoption had had plenty of time to ripen, I came home one afternoon to find Mr. Tanaka sitting across from my father at the little table in our house. I knew they were talking about something serious, because they didnât even notice me when I stepped into our entryway. I froze there to listen to them.
âSo, Sakamoto, what do you think of my proposal?â
âI donât know, sir,â said my father. âI canât picture the girls living anywhere else.â
âI understand, but theyâd be much better off, and so would you. Just see to it they come down to the village tomorrow afternoon.â
At this, Mr. Tanaka stood to leave. I pretended I was just arriving so we would meet at the door.
âI was talking with your father about you, Chiyo-chan,â he said to me. âI live across the ridge in the town of Senzuru. Itâs bigger than Yoroido. I think youâd like it. Why donât you and Satsu-san come there tomorrow? Youâll see my house and meet my little daughter. Perhaps youâll stay the night? Just one night, you understand; and then Iâll bring you back to your home again. How would that be?â
I said it would be very nice. And I did my best to pretend no one had suggested anything out of the ordinary to me. But in my head it was as though an explosion had occurred. My thoughts were in fragments I could hardly piece together. Certainly it was true that a part of me hoped desperately to be adopted by Mr. Tanaka after my mother died; but another part of me was very much afraid. I felt horribly ashamed for even imagining I might live somewhere besides my tipsy house. After Mr. Tanaka had left, I tried to busy myself in the kitchen, but I felt a bit like Satsu, for I could hardly see the things before me. I donât know how much time passed. At length I heard my father making a sniffling noise, which I took to be crying and which made my face burn with shame. When I finally forced myself to glance his way, I saw him with his hands already tangled up in one of his fishing nets, but standing at the doorway leading into the back room, where my mother lay in the full sun with the sheet stuck to her like skin.
*Â Â *Â Â *
The next day, in preparation for meeting Mr. Tanaka in the village, I scrubbed my dirty ankles and soaked for a while in our bath, which had once been the boiler compartment from an old steam engine someone had abandoned in our village; the top had been sawed off and the inside lined with wood. I sat a long while looking out to sea and feeling very independent, for I was about to see something of the world outside our little village for the first time in my life.
When Satsu and I reached the Japan Coastal Seafood Company, we watched the fishermen unloading their catches at the pier. My father was among them, grabbing fish with his bony hands and dropping them into baskets. At one point he looked toward me and Satsu, and then afterward wiped his face on the sleeve of his shirt. Somehow his features looked heavier to me than usual. The men carried the full baskets to Mr. Tanakaâs horse-drawn wagon and arranged them in the back. I climbed up on the wheel to watch. Mostly, the fish stared out with glassy eyes, but every so often one would move its mouth, which seemed to me like a little scream. I tried to reassure them by saying:
âYouâre going to the town of Senzuru, little fishies! Everything will be okay.â
I didnât see what