Meant for Me Read Online Free PDF Page B

her. She never complains, but I know she’s bored here. There’s not enough excitement for her. She likes to be on the pulse of things, finding a scoop, investigating a lead. The only noteworthy event at Riverside Gardens is when Shep needs a bath in tomato juice after chasing a skunk. Not exactly headline-grabbing stuff.
    That’s why I have to let her go to L.A. even though I don’t want to. I can’t have her come to resent me, making her feel trapped. The baby was a surprise—one we didn’t see coming. But it’s also a tie that forced her to swap her life for mine. We both want to live as a family and raise our child together, but that requires sacrifice on both of our parts. She lost out on a promising career and I have to work longer hours. It’s not going to be easy supporting three people instead of one.
    I’d like nothing more than for Ivy to return to school and finish what she started, but with a baby on the way, it’s just not possible. If she weren’t pregnant, I’d have no problem financing her last year. But there have been so many extra costs connected to the baby that I never anticipated. Ivy’s health insurance isn’t the greatest. Her mom lost hers, so she’s on an individual plan where she has to reach a staggering deductible before her coverage kicks in. So far, I’ve had to pay for every test she’s had out of pocket. And that’s before the baby clothes, car seats, cribs, bottles, diapers—the list goes on and on. I bought all of these things before but Ivy and I both agreed there was no way we could use what Cassidy and I had purchased for our baby. There were too many bad memories attached to that stuff. All I know is that it probably would’ve been cheaper if Ivy went back to college instead of getting pregnant—at least until I was able to get the garden center out from under its mountain of debt.
    Starting a business from scratch is tough. There are so many initial costs and investments that need to be made in order to get it going. I had to buy the land. I had to purchase an inventory. Most things I can grow myself, but not everything. I’d love to increase the size of my staff, but I can’t afford the payroll taxes accompanying every new hire. I pay Jack under the table whenever he can moonlight for me, and my dad does the books for free in his spare time. Things are tight, but I’m hanging in there.
    I guess the last time around I was so consumed with Cassidy’s deteriorating health that I wasn’t paying attention to how expensive having a kid really is. Cassidy’s parents helped out with a lot, and I had a little nest egg after I sold my grandma’s farm. It was going to tide us over until life got back to normal, but it never did.
    Now I kind of wish I hadn’t built this house right away. I didn’t have to have the finest quality wood for the closets or the top-of-the-line bluestone for the fireplace. I could’ve kept things simple, but I didn’t. Building this house was what kept me alive after Cassidy died. It was my love letter to her, and I wanted nothing but the best inside and out. I was consumed in finishing it, wrapped up in the project for months. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I sawed, hammered, and drilled until my fingers bled, blowing through what little I’d inherited from my grandma in the process. I didn’t sock any money away for a rainy day. Instead, I used it to hide out from the world.
    So I feel like a dick since I can’t provide for Ivy and the baby the way I want to, the way they deserve. Sure, she likes working with Will on the screenplay. She’s doing what she loves and what she’s good at, but the chances of it turning into something are slim to none. There’s not a lot of money in independent filmmaking. The budgets are a fraction of what is spent on major blockbusters. Some indies are even bankrolled through fan contributions on fundraising websites. Investors are lucky to break even since the audience for these types of movies