Meaner Things Read Online Free PDF Page B

someone.”
    “Who?”
    “Someone I have considerable faith in. She’s a clairvoyant.”
    I almost dropped my beer glass. Emma hadn’t shown the slightest sign of believing in such things before now.
    She raised a defensive hand in response to my evident astonishment. “Don’t laugh. Maria will prove you wrong. I have absolute confidence in her. OK?”
    I scanned her face, her very beautiful, sincere face, and knew that she was being totally serious. I also knew that I had to play along. “I’m not laughing, Emma. I’ve been known to walk around a ladder or two myself,” I lied, “I just didn’t realise you were the same.”
    Emma seemed reassured. “It’s just that Maria’s predictions . . . advice, whatever you want to call them, have been uncannily accurate in the past. So much so that I consult her on important things. With something like this . . . well, she’s a must.”
    I nodded sagely. “Are her séances expensive?”
    “It’s a reading, not a séance,” Emma replied, “And there’s no specific charge. Normally I give her a hundred.”
    “A hundred bucks?” I was astonished at the usually parsimonious Emma’s generosity, especially for a ‘service’ I considered worthless. “Can you afford that?”
    “Well, fifty each should do it, Mike.”
    I groaned inwardly. “Do we have to?”
    She looked serious. “Absolutely, Mike. I can’t do Tuesday night otherwise.”
    So off we went, took the Skytrain all the way out to Metrotown. As the train rattled along I watched our reflections side by side in the window and decided we were two naive idiots. No doubt ‘Madame Maria’ would utter some vague mumbo-jumbo and expect our awe-stricken, gullible gratitude. Well, she might get it from Emma but not from me. I’d endure it, nothing more.
    We wove our way through crowded streets until we arrived at Maria’s abode, a swanky apartment on the sixth floor of a new high-rise building. In the elevator I reflected on how much money there must be in her game. At the end of the carpeted corridor her door stood out from the rest because of its zodiac decorations. I marched up to it and gave it a few hearty bangs.
    Emma grabbed my arm before I could deliver any more blows. “Maria, its Emma. I’ve brought a friend.”
    Just a friend, eh? My hackles were sky high by now. The door opened a crack, a beady eye peered out, the door closed again, and the chain came off. She’s supposed to be psychic, I thought, shouldn’t she know who’s at her door?
    The door opened wide, revealing a Gypsy Rose figure. Maria was about seventy years old, short and slim, with plenty of wrinkles in a face surrounded by suspiciously black curly hair tumbling down on to her shoulders. There was a gleam in the small, coal-black eyes. Long earrings dangled and shone, and her fingers were covered in a variety of fancy rings. A patterned shawl covered her shoulders, framing a low neckline that revealed far too much breast for a woman of her age. I had zero difficulty looking elsewhere.
    She stared long and hard at me, like a snake oil salesman weighing up a prospective customer. “Take off the sunglasses,” she said.
    I’d been wearing them as protection against the setting sun and hadn’t thought to take them off on the way up. I did so now and she stepped closer.
    “Give me a look at your eyes,” she said.
    I leaned over and obliged. She peered up at me, moved her head from side to side, and tut-tutted with her tongue.
    “I see a troubled soul,” she said.
    As if my eyes really were windows to my soul. “Nice one,” I thought.
    At last she’d seen enough. “If it’s a reading you’re after, I’m not sure I’m up to it tonight. The spirits don’t come at my beck and call, you know. Still, I can only do my best.”
    At that she stepped back and waved us in. She drew heavy drapes across the windows until the room was in darkness, then lit a squat, aromatic candle which she placed at the side of a small, round table.