Maybe Forever (Maybe... Book 3) Read Online Free PDF Page B

month. Occasionally, Niklas would tell me about Siri, about her latest boyfriend or how she was still running wild. We'd fall into an easy pattern and then suddenly he'd remember he couldn't call me like this too often; we weren't simply old friends. He never asked about Mads.
    All those years I'd spent with Niklas...and then Mads had come along and opened my eyes to something new. I'd already been on a path of walking away without even realizing it. Was that what was happening now? Were Mads and I falling apart..? Was he traveling on that path now, longing for something—or someone—new?
     
    *     *     *
    When he came home, the summer night sky was finally dark. I was sitting on the balcony, trying to avoid going into the kitchen and snatching my emergency pack of cigarettes from its hiding place in the freezer. I hadn't smoked since I'd found out I was pregnant with Freya. I'd told myself I would quit now. I wanted to be a good role model for my daughters. I didn't want them to make the same stupid mistakes in life that I'd made. But the urge to smoke, to pour another glass of wine and blot out how humiliating it had been to sit there, waiting for him when he was enthralled in the company of another woman... maybe I was jumping the gun. But it niggled at me. We'd cheated...we'd been the ones who had the affair. What was stopping him from having another affair? He said he loved me...but now...well, now I wasn't so sure.
    Below, the main door to our communal garden creaked open, then closed. Mads appeared but didn't look up. His footfalls echoed on the flagstones. I nearly called out to him but thought better of it. Instead, I left the balcony and walked through the apartment into the living room. I shivered a little. The air had cooled off now that the sun had finally set.
    Mads opened the door and stepped in without seeing me. He pushed the door shut and then set his keys on the battered console table we used as a catch-all for everything...keys...bus tickets...magazines that needed to be recycled. He cursed under his breath...then he finally looked up and saw me standing there, arms crossed, waiting for him.
    "Laney, I didn't mean for tonight to go this way." His jaw twitched. He ran his fingers over his lips. Had she kissed him? "I'm so sorry..."
    I heard the guilt in his voice. He didn't approach me. Not at first. And the distance between us was like standing on opposite shores o fØ resund Strait. I wanted to go to him, but I was afraid I'd lash out. I balled my hands into fists and kept them tucked under my crossed arms.
    "Was that the infamous Benny...? The one all your shopmates are drooling over?"
    He nodded. He kept his eyes trained on the white-washed oak floor.
    His silence, like an admission of misdoings, crept up on me and nipped away at the calm veneer I was struggling to maintain. I didn't want to shout, not when the girls were sleeping. I didn't want them to hear us fighting again. I swallowed the bitterness rising in my throat. I kept telling myself I could do this—confront him without screaming. My mother had been the master of quiet force. Even at the worst of times, she never turned into one of those women who screamed and cried and caused scenes. Even when my father was intentionally pushing her buttons...she'd kept it together. I wanted my mother now. I wanted her here beside me, her hand on my shoulder as she assured me everything would be alright. That I would survive this. That I could live without him.
    "You didn't tell me she looked like a fucking pinup model."
    He tensed and shoved his hands in his pockets. Still he didn't say anything.
    "Why did you even bother to suggest we go out and celebrate our anniversary?"
    "I wanted us to have a special evening..."
    "Oh, it was special alright. I sat there for an hour waiting for you. I felt like such a fool sitting there. And all while you were so consumed by Benny's fascinatin g … conversation. Or was it her breasts you were more