hates aliens.’ I almost crashed my Mercedes.”
“I wonder where all this came from,” I said. “Aliens sleeping under the mountain, waiting to take away the worthy when the end of the world comes? It’s so out of the blue, like they came out of nowhere.”
Lucy pointed at me. “I’ll tell you what else came out of nowhere, what else I saw on my drive over here. Mr. Tall Drink of Water, your mysterious boyfriend-neighbor.”
“Holden’s not really my boyfriend,” I said, turning red. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. He could be a really good boyfriend if he would stick around and take me out and do boyfriend things consistently. “What was he doing?” I asked, trying not to sound desperate.
“He was skulking. I think he was talking to one of the wackos, one of the khaki-colored ones.”
“Oh,” I said.
“Not a khaki woman, darlin’,” she said. “A khaki man. Don’t worry.”
We were quiet for a moment as unspoken questions and comments flooded the room. Should I be worried that Holden was seeing another woman? Why didn’t Iknow what he was doing with his days? Why wasn’t he communicating with me, and should I break off whatever relationship I had with him? His hot quotient was pretty high, but would a self-respecting woman let herself be strung along like this? Bridget and Lucy waited for me to broach the subject, remaining quiet like only good friends could.
I remained quiet also, too chicken to talk about Holden. I grabbed a fudge bar to hide my embarrassment, but one bite made me yelp in pain. I tried to downplay it, but in the end, I had to fess up about my appointment with Belinda and the discovery of my seven cavities.
“Dr. Dulur is gentle as a baby, Gladie,” said Lucy. “He gave me a crown. Put me to sleep, and when I woke up, my mouth was fixed, my teeth whitened, and I could swear that my hands were newly moisturized.”
I looked at my hands. They could use moisturizing.
“I think my teeth can wait. I don’t think it’s urgent,” I said, but my teeth disagreed. The pain was getting worse. I grimaced in discomfort and moaned.
“Oh, you’ve got it bad, Gladie,” Lucy said.
“Let’s call for an emergency appointment,” said Bridget. “I bet Belinda will make sure you get in.”
I whimpered and instantly hated myself for it. I am a terrible coward. “I should have been born brave,” I said.
Bridget put her hand on mine. “Dr. Dulur is known for being very good with children. All the moms bring their kids to him. He gives out toys and lollipops.”
My bottom lip jutted out. “Yeah,” I said. “But the lollipops are probably sugar-free.”
“Yeah, they probably are,” Bridget said, looking down at the floor.
Lucy stood up and took her cellphone out of her purse. “I’m making the appointment right now, and I’m going to add in a whitening treatment, on me. No charge foryou. There, doesn’t that make you feel better, Gladie? You are going to have blinding pearly whites. You’re going to be a new person. You won’t need a smidge of makeup with your new teeth.”
I was doubtful. “Without mascara, my eyes look like two holes burned in a blanket,” I said. But Lucy wasn’t listening. She got me an appointment for after office hours and threatened to give my cellphone number to Visa’s collection agency if I didn’t show up to have my teeth filled and whitened. Ha-ha on her. I hadn’t paid my cellphone bill in three months, and it was due to be shut off any second now. The collection agency would never find me. As soon as I got Spencer out of the house, I would pick up Orajel at the pharmacy and then never eat sugar again. No sugar, no pain. It was a plan.
By the time we got the house cleaned up, the sun was getting ready to set, and Bridget and Lucy went out to have dinner in town, where they could have a front-row seat for the war between the townspeople and the end-of-worlders. I was tempted to join them, but Spencer was still upstairs in my