shook as the monster charged.
I was yelling, yelling at Harry. âGoddamnit,Harry, I know this is your fault! You jumped a lizard up in time! Give me those keys beforeââ
âShut up, Fletcher. Iâve always wanted to have Godzilla real. The noise!â
The police car flew into the air and crashed, burning, on the roadway nearby.
FWWWWWUUUUUEEEEE! WWREEEEEEE-EENH!
âGood God, heâs headed for us! He knows you, Harry! Letâs get out of here!â
Harry was too enraptured to recognize our danger. I bundled him down the highway embankment. At the bottom was a culvert, a four-foot cement pipe running right under the turnpike.
âIn here!â
GUH-WHEEEEEEEENT! REEEEEEEENTH-REEEEEEEENT-REEEEEEEEEENT!
The giant lizard was really getting excited. AndâGod, God, Godâit was Harry and me he was after. We barely made it into the culvert in time. A huge claw probed in after us, and was replaced by the creatureâs immense basilisk eye.
âIsnât this exciting, Fletch? Watch this!â
Harry yelled and threw a sharp rock right into the giant eyeâs center.
WHEEEENK-WHEEEENK-WHEEEENK! GUH-ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
âI love that noise,â chortled Harry. âI canât get enough of it.â
The monsterâs huge claws were tearing at the culvertâs end. Meters of sod crumbled and great chunks of concrete flew. Our tunnel grew steadily shorter. Harry was looking around for another rock to throw.
âOh, God, Harry, I hate you so much, you crazy wrecked slob, you donât care about anything real! Oh, Nancy, Iâm so sorry I got involved! Please, God, help me, save me, save meââ
A third of our tunnel was gone now. The Godzilla-thing had us trapped like rats. The only escape was to run out the other end. I took off, leaving Harry behind. He was laughing and hefting a rock. Was he nuts, or did he know something I didnât know.
It was marshy on the other side of the turnpike, too marshy to head off overland. The only way out was along the roadway itself.
The giant lizard was concentrating on its diggingâthere hadnât been any roaring for several minutes. Gathering my courage, I crawled up the embankment to peer back across the turnpike.
There was the monsterâs great lashing tail, and there, twenty meters off to the left, was my car, still unharmed.
âOh, Nancy,â I moaned, âIâm coming, baby.â
I sprinted across the northbound lanes and the median. Every hair on my neck was standing up. I got back into my Buick. Harry had left the key on the seat. I fumbled it into the ignition and started . . .
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONT! SQUAA-ROOOOOOOONT-ROOOOOONT-ROOOOO-OOOONT!
Harry had just thrown his second rock. Forget it, man, and color me gone. I floored the accelerator and peeled out. I was still shaking when I pulled into my driveway back in Princeton.
6
The Central Teachings of Mysticism
N ANCY was at the kitchen table, eating a dish of yogurt with Froot Loops. The TV was on full blast. A quiz show. Serena was lying on her side, sucking the corner of a blanket.
âCouldnât you turn down the TV?â I demanded.
âMr. Big Shot,â muttered Nancy, not taking her eyes off the screen. All the chairs had piles of laundry on them, so I flopped down on the floor next to Serena.
âWhatâs the matter, Nancy?â
âYou,â she said. Her eyes were red and puffy. Sheâd been crying. Her head kept jerking the way it always did when she was really mad at me. âYou gave all our money to your crazy friend, didnât you? I wanted to go shopping, and the bank said weâve got nothing left. Mr. Big Deal.â
She ripped open a package of Oreos and startedeating the cookies two at a time. I could never understand where Nancy put all the food she ate. Someone on TV won a prize. The audience roared like a broken washing machine. Serena sucked on her blanket, staring blankly